Are People Still Practicing Old-Fashioned Love?

Old-fashioned love isn’t outdated; we still practice aspects of it to this day.

When we think of old-fashioned love, we picture a couple in their mid-60s: gray hair, wrinkled smiles, gentle strides, and linked arms.

Back then, there weren’t that many distractions—no social media, no cellphones; just two people focusing on each other. As such, they tend to be “in the moment” with their partner.

It’s these kinds of relationships that make you wonder how much we have changed as lovers. This old-fashioned love is timeless.

What does that say about us, modern lovers? Have we gone astray from the traditional relationship, or have we evolved the classic methods and adapted them to today’s romantic standards?

Have We Abandoned The Old Ways?

If we compare modern couples to those of the past, we notice that many things have changed. For example, after a hearty dinner date, the man traditionally shouldered the bill. However, nowadays, women often offer to pay, or both parties agree to split the check equally.

In a traditional relationship, gender roles play a huge part. As a sign of being a capable husband and breadwinner, men were expected to spend and perform most of the courtship.

Traditional men were expected to make the first move and do everything to prove their worth to women. As a reflection of what their life together would be like, they make sure that they do most of the heavy lifting in the relationship.

Nowadays, in modern dating, women are stepping up to pay for the expenses—they believe that whoever asks for a date should be the one paying, unless they both agree to split the bill. Gender roles in modern dating have changed, which is why we often see women treating men to a nice “steak and wine” dinner.

Women, to this day, believe that a man must be worth loving, but they also understand that they can’t wait for a man to show up and ask them out. Hence, we often see women make the first move or take control of the relationship.

While men still pay for the date, the majority of today’s dating culture has shifted towards equality. This begs the question, “What have we changed from an old-fashioned love to a modern view of romance?”

The Differences of Old-Fashioned and Modern Love: Did We Make It Better?

Old-fashioned love emphasized patience, societal norms, and slow growth, while modern love focuses on instant connection, open communication, and shared responsibility. The latter often feels faster and more performative, at the same time, potentially more empowering.

Here are their key differences:

The cons of old-fashioned love were that the options for finding love were scarce, and people relied on in-person meetups, such as being referred by a friend of a friend or a chance encounter in a random place.

While finding love back then was more organic, it was difficult. Nowadays, we have the convenience of finding love through dating apps and the internet.

In the past, communicating with your lover was also difficult; you either had to write down a letter or ring their landline. If your partner lived a couple of states away, you had to make an expensive collect call. Expressing your heartfelt love sometimes takes a month or two to be sent, or lasts only a few minutes.

Nowadays, communication can be achieved with the touch of a finger. The internet and messaging apps are an essential communication medium for lovers everywhere. Even those who prefer a more traditional romance benefit from modern technology and the ability to connect with others.

Modern dating has its advantages; with the power of technology, we can stay connected with our partners no matter how far we are. Through video calls and instant messaging, expressing love can happen in an instant.

But sometimes we still see glimpses of that old-fashioned love from modern lovers; traditional relationships still echo throughout modern dating—what could they be?

Today’s Remnants of the Traditional Relationship

“They say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but you can teach a new dog old tricks.”

While online dating has been beneficial in modern times, we can’t deny that it can feel a little out of touch—it lacks the human connection. Yet even with new ways of going on dates or connecting, people still prefer the old-school ways of courtship and love.

The outdoors are a great place for lovers to spend time together. Walking around the block or the park is a common activity for most couples while they’re on a date. There’s nothing like going outside, basking in the slowness of time, and sometimes, people-watching with your date.

While streaming services allow you and your partner to watch your favorite movies and shows anytime, people still prefer watching movies in theatres, just as in the old days. It fosters a different feeling of intimacy.

Serenading is also an old-fashioned method of showing love. Did you know that in the Philippines, while it is uncommon to see people serenading these days, Filipinos sing love songs, both English and Filipino, in front of their potential lover as a way to say “I love you”?

So, what’s common between modern dating and old-fashioned love? Here are some similarities they both share:

• Assessing Compatibility - Both generations require partners to have a compatible lifestyle and love language. While requirements have changed over the years, the value of being compatible remains the same.
• Valuing Effort - If you’re not working hard enough, then you’re not loving enough. Effort is a value that both generations agree on. Without effort, then there’s no point to being in a relationship.
• The Need for Communication - No doubt, the methods and speed of communication have drastically changed throughout the years. Still, one thing remains the same: people communicating with their loved ones, from writing letters that take months to reach, to sending instant messages from their phones.

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There’s nothing like an old-fashioned love; it’s the organic approach that gives genuine connection and intimacy between two lovers. Modern dating has its own advantages, as do traditional relationships. However, balancing present and traditional dating creates a dating experience that blends both worlds for all ages.