How to Get Over Your Ex and Come Out a Stronger Person

You’ll thank yourself later for learning how to get over your ex.

You’re not alone if you don’t know how to get over your ex. Many people still struggle with this to this day.

Why?

Not all breakups are similar, and people process them differently. Some easily shake them off, while others find them difficult to move on from.

There aren’t any hard-and-fast rules for post-breakup recovery. However, there are tried-and-tested methods that have aged like fine wine. Read these tips to power through.

Why Is It Hard to Get Over Some Exes?

Breakups vary in difficulty. However, no matter which moving-on methods you try or how long it has been, an ex may remain in your mind for several reasons. These are among the things holding you back:

Lingering feelings

Many face this reality. They know they should get over their exes, but they can’t. Their feelings remain just as strong as the moment they fell for them.

If only you could delete the feelings for an ex like you can with files on your computer, right? Sadly, that’s just not possible.

The commitment was strong

Your breakup might have been more painful because your relationship seemed too strong to be broken.

Length and satisfaction levels don’t guarantee an endgame. However, the crashes from a breakup tend to be more painful when they come from a long-term relationship.

The breakup was out of the blue

Few things can knock people out of their stupor than breakups, especially if they came out of nowhere. Yes, the possibility of a split is always there, but no one anticipates them coming.

When you get blindsided by a breakup, the world feels upside down, and you’re out of sorts. Think of it like going through a caffeine withdrawal. Your regular energy fix (in this case, love) has been cut off, and you’re reeling from its effects.

A life that revolved around the relationship

Sometimes, being in a relationship makes you forget everything surrounding you, including friendships and a sense of self. The longer the bliss lasts, the more you’ll feel boundaries blurring and merging.

So when a breakup happens, you’ll feel lost and confused. It’s as if your life has been uprooted. You’re used to having someone in your corner, so you don’t know how to move forward alone or pick up the pieces of a life you once had.

7 Tips for Getting Over a Breakup

The only way out of a breakup’s painful aftermath is to face it head-on. There’s no running away from that inevitability. Here’s how to handle a breakup and come out stronger from it.

These seven tips should make getting over a breakup more manageable.

#1: Don’t repress your feelings.

Breakups don’t just trigger one emotion. One reason they can be difficult is that you feel many emotions simultaneously. Anger, sadness, doubt, and confusion come together in a complicated mesh.

Your first line of defense might be to put on a brave face and act ice-cold, but acting cool is useless and counterintuitive. You’re allowed to feel what you feel, so don’t suppress yourself.

#2: View your relationships for what they were.

It can be tempting to view a past relationship through rose-colored glasses, especially if the breakup was amicable. But put those glasses down, as nostalgia may cloud your judgment.

Remembering the good times is one thing. Romanticizing them, however, is another. This tendency is why some don’t know how to deal with heartbreak healthily.

Instead of ruminating about the past, shift your focus to the present. You broke up for a reason. Acknowledging the bad and ugly parts will be better for you in the long run.

#3: Steer clear of the ex.

How to get over your ex requires plenty of self-discipline. And this is where the “no contact” rule comes in.

Even seeing your ex’s profile picture is enough to open the floodgates and send you on a nostalgic trip. Since you’re trying to move on from your ex, get them off your radar—online and offline. Unfriend them on social media if you have to. Whatever attachment there is, get rid of it.

This avoidance can be hard if you’re in environments that force you to interact, like workplaces. However, keep it brief and professional.

#4: Don’t follow timelines.

The pain of a breakup can make you want to speedrun the whole moving-on process. But trust us when we say you shouldn’t rush anything. Otherwise, you might dig a deeper hole, making it harder for you to climb out.

Moving on doesn’t come with timetables. And with that, don’t force yourself to follow a schedule. If falling in love takes time, so does getting over an ex.

#5: Let your people in.

Romance isn’t the only package love comes in. Your family, friends, and other loved ones have it in droves, too.

Say, for example, you’re learning how to get over an ex who hurt you and is tempted to shut everybody out. Don’t. This will only make you feel lonelier.

Yes, you should have your alone time as you mourn this loss. But isolation won’t do you any good. It won’t hurt to enjoy the company of others. Allow your people to support and comfort you as you process your heartbreak.

#6: Don’t make drastic changes right away.

Having a do-over after a breakup sounds like a good idea, but you may want to keep those changes to a minimum. You don’t need to scrap everything. Sure, you’ve played a part in your relationship’s ending, but so did your ex.

Don’t make rash decisions as you mend your heartbreak. Your feelings shouldn’t ruin you.

#7: Keep yourself busy.

Since you’ve got lots of free time on your hands, use it to keep yourself occupied. You can’t just rot in bed forever.

If there are old hobbies you’ve kept on the backburner during your relationship, now’s a great time to go back to them. Want to go out of your comfort zone? Try new activities that catch your attention. Do whatever you want to do to keep yourself busy.

Don’t Punish Yourself

Say your ex broke up with you months ago, and you still haven’t gotten over your split despite your best efforts. Even if you know your breakup was for the best, feelings still linger.

Don’t kick yourself if you haven’t moved on. It’s not a linear process. Sometimes, you might even end up back at square one. Give yourself grace and patience as you work through your post-breakup path.

The tips above should teach you how to get over your ex. The healing won’t happen overnight, but the payoff will be worth it.