How to Get Over Heartbreak and Come Out Stronger

Aim for brighter days. Know how to get over heartbreak.
“How can I get over a heartbreak?”
Everyone’s been through romantic heartbreaks. Some are amicable breakups, while others are acrimonious splits. Regardless, it’s a gut-wrenching experience all around. It’s only natural that many ask themselves this question as they come face-to-face with the ruins of their relationships. Anyone would want to get away from the pain.
But here’s the brutal truth: the journey to clarity won’t be pretty either. Sometimes, you even land back at square one as you repeat patterns you should’ve left in the past. And that’s okay—that happens.
You may not believe it now, but the road after post-breakup pain is a clear one. Here’s how to get over heartbreak and become a stronger person.
Why Does Heartbreak Hurt So Much?
Getting over heartbreak is a universal experience, yet it often feels isolating. The pain demands our attention, engulfing us and shutting everything else out.
But why is heartbreak so painful every time? You would think it would have less impact after experiencing it several times.
One reason is hormones. According to a Live Science piece by Lou Mudge, adrenaline, noradrenaline, and cortisol (a.k.a. “stress hormones”) spike while oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin (“happy hormones”) decrease.
When you fall in love, you also experience euphoria due to the intensity of your emotions. This explains your giddiness whenever you see your partner, for example.
In contrast, heartbreak bombards you with negative emotions at 100 miles per hour. The moment a breakup happens, the floodgates open and water rushes in without slowing down.
Another reason is that your brain also responds to your emotions. It processes heartbreak as if it’s dealing with physical pain.
With this, you experience a rapid heartbeat, pupil dilation, and increased blood flow. You then show physical symptoms of heartbreak, like weight loss/gain, demotivation, headaches, and appetite changes.
Stages of a Breakup
A breakup isn’t a one-time event. It happens in stages, each with different emotions. You’ll experience them either chronologically, simultaneously, or back-and-forth.
Ambivalence is the first stage you would usually go through after a split. A billion thoughts and feelings come flooding in after the news. While that happens, your head and heart battle for control.
Shock then sets in, and denial follows to absorb it. It shields you a bit from the pain as your reality changes.
Once the shock fades, anger (naturally) takes its place. You’re hurt about the breakup (understandably so) and how it went down. Revenge feels tempting. Some even push through with acting on their rage and bitterness. They pick fights, play the blame game, or send bad vibes along their ex's way.
As the anger subsides, bargaining takes its place. You negotiate with yourself and your ex to bring things back to how they were or better your circumstances.

Among all the stages of breakups listed, depression may feel the heaviest.
When bargaining attempts are unsuccessful, a huge wave of depression comes crashing in. Sadness paralyzes you, making your days difficult. The pain feels so heavy that interacting with others doesn’t seem like an option anymore, so you isolate yourself.
Once the clouds of sadness clear, you’ll finally knock at acceptance’s door. Reality doesn’t seem as bleak as it previously was. Emotions are more stable than they were during the breakup. The reasons for the split have become clearer, giving a sense of closure.
Moving on is within arm’s reach. Self-esteem is, more or less, recovered. Friends and family have become a welcome sight. New relationships still seem intimidating, but the possibilities are more real than they previously were.
The Healing Process
There’s no timetable for healing from a breakup. Some take weeks, while others need months (or years even) to get back on their feet.
Everyone processes pain differently. You may be strong enough to take breakups on the chin, while your friends may need to burrow themselves in a hole for a while. Wherever you are on the side of this particular spectrum, it’s valid.
How do you get over heartbreak, you ask? Don’t worry—we won’t turn this section into a to-do list. That’s an oversimplification of a complex event. Instead, we’ll illustrate the process to help you see what yours should look like.
Healing starts with accepting your feelings. A breakup can be confusing, especially in the first few weeks. Due to the influx of emotions, you can’t help but feel rattled.
Resolution means embracing every single feeling, positive or negative. You’re entitled to your emotions, so taking a day to feel sad is normal. Grieving lost relationships is a legitimate experience, so giving in to feelings isn’t exactly detrimental.
After acknowledging your feelings, grieve them. Understandably, you might want to pull yourself together and be present in public. But you don’t have to keep up the facade behind closed doors. Take time to mourn your breakup.
When people let themselves grieve, they tend to look for distractions to occupy themselves. Although they allow themselves to feel sad, they know they can’t stay in a slump. The world still moves after breakups, and they won’t let that stop them from living their best lives.
With whatever energy you have, get up and find something to do. Activities can range from taking up old habits to exploring new things (or places, depending on preference).
As your energy increases, so does your social battery. Loved ones become sources of comfort and support since they genuinely look out for your best interests. The breakup has severed one connection. But you still have other (and perhaps healthier) bonds.
And finally, healing means getting closure. Whether it’s from an ex or a result of self-discovery, you should put a dot on that chapter. Closure is a formal finality. It shuts the door and keeps the past where it belongs.
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A breakup can make you feel like you’re down in the dumps. But it won’t stay this way forever if you make it so. With this guide on how to get over heartbreak, you can come out of it stronger and wiser. A painful experience is what it is, but you can get a silver lining out of it.
Reference
Mudge, Lou. 2023. “Why Does Heartbreak Hurt So Much? Science Has the Answer.” Live Science. https://www.livescience.com/why-does-heartbreak-hurt-so-much.