How do you break up with someone you love?

Be direct and honest while remaining compassionate. Acknowledge how difficult it is, explain your reasons without blaming, and stand firm in your decision. Avoid beating around the bush and make sure your partner understands it is final.

Should you break up in person or over text?

Whenever possible, break up in person as it shows respect. However, if you feel unsafe with your partner, it is acceptable to end things over the phone or via text for your safety.

What should you prepare before breaking up?

Consider where the breakup will happen, the logistics if you live together, and notify close friends or family for emotional support. Planning ahead can make the process smoother for both parties.

How do you cope after breaking up with someone you love?

It’s normal to grieve and feel strong emotions. Rely on trusted friends for support, rework your daily routine, and focus on healthy habits such as exercise, learning new skills, or hobbies that help you heal.

Is going no contact after a breakup a good idea?

Yes, going no contact gives both partners the space to heal and process emotions without added pressure. It allows you to adjust to life without your ex and begin moving forward.

Knowing How to Break Up with Someone Who You Love

A woman stands dejected after her boyfriend breaks up with her, depicting the need to know how to break up with someone you love

Do you know how to break up with someone you love?

It’s never easy breaking off a relationship. We often go into relationships thinking “This is the one. This one will last me a lifetime. I have found my destiny.”

But, for one reason or another, we end up breaking up. We’re left with a void in our hearts that takes a long time to fill.

It’s easy to assume all breakups happen because of a loss of love. But of all the breakups one has to go through, the worst has to be when you still love the person.

That’s why many couples often find themselves wondering how to break up with someone who you love.

Figure out If a Breakup Is Necessary

Before I tell you how to break up with someone who you love, there’s one thing for you to consider.

Sometimes, the differences that we are planning to break up over are actually still fixable.

So, long before you plan to break up, make sure your partner knows you are unhappy and why. Give each other a chance to make it work. Stop and think, for a second, about whether or not the relationship is beyond saving.

By doing this, you and your partner have the opportunity to make things right. And, even if they don’t use the opportunity to make things better, at least the breakup down the line won’t come as a surprise.

Making the Necessary Preparations

But sometimes, a breakup is the only way. Maybe you can’t fix the relationship, but you at least have the chance to fix yourselves.

Now, you have to think about where to break up with them. Remember, also, that breakups are usually best done in person. This isn’t a guide on how to break up over text.

You also have to figure out the logistics. Do you and your partner live together? Do you have to move if you break up? If so, then, where do you need to move? Do you need to split some items?

You will also need to notify close friends and family beforehand. That way you will at least have people who can support you. This is because deep emotions pouring from both sides is inevitable.

It can certainly help you answer the question you’ll be asking yourself, “How I get over a broken heart.”

The Process of Breaking Up

So, here we are. You are at the point of no return. Take a deep breath and remember: you have done everything that there is to do. You have given as many chances as you can afford to give.

How to break up with someone who you love? Don’t beat around the bush and just tell them, straight up, what you want to do. Be clear, though. Acknowledge how hard it is and how much it affects your partner. But assert that you can’t remain in this relationship anymore.

Explain why you want to break up. When you do, though, try not to turn it into a blame game. Try to find a middle ground. Later, your partner is going to look for reasons. If you give good reasons, you make that process easier.

Do not change your mind. Now is not the time for second-guessing your decision. Remember that you are not doing this because you hate them. You are doing this because you love yourself.

If they beg, stand firm in your decision. Remind yourself that you’ve given them and even yourself ample opportunity to turn things around and it just didn’t work out. Trust that you made the right decision.

If they get angry, keep calm. Understand that the anger they are showing is a response to the pain. They have the right to feel it, so long as they don’t physically take it out on you.

Although breakups are best done in person, you also have to consider your safety. If your soon-to-be ex is someone who makes you feel unsafe, don’t hesitate to break up with them over the phone or with a supportive friend there with you.

A person holds a phone showing the breakup text they got from their partner, who clearly knows how to break up with someone over text

Do you have the strength to know how to break up with someone over text

Dealing with the Aftermath

If you break up with someone you still love, you might reel from it. It will hurt you too. You might begin to wonder if you made a mistake. Or you might be tempted to fill the sudden void in your life with meaningless or even harmful distractions.

Those feelings are normal, but you can’t act on all negative emotions. Instead, you need to take the time you have now to grieve. Separating from someone takes a heavy emotional toll.

But an article published on HelpGuide points to something that we know, on some level, to be true.

Grief is natural. When you lose something or someone important, you grieve. Even if that parting is necessary and justifiable, you’ll still grieve the loss.

So, let your emotions flow as needed. Doing this will help you clear your head for what comes next.

If you need someone to vent those feelings out to, you may confide in someone you trust. This is where that support system you established earlier would come in.

If they’re willing, allow your friends to listen to you. Vent to them. Let out your feelings, even if they don’t make sense right now.

You will also need to rework your daily routine. It can be hard as your days used to revolve around your ex. But remember that now, the time is yours. You’re free to fill your days with some fresh, healthy habits.

You could start exercising, learn a new skill, pick up a new hobby, or just do things that you love doing. You can even just zone out to music that’ll help you feel what you need to feel.

Determine If You Should Go No Contact

Knowing how to end a long term relationship also means knowing how to handle the time that comes immediately after the breakup.

There’s wisdom in separating yourself, not just from a relationship, but from interaction with an ex.

It gives both of you breathing room. You can each deal with your emotions without the added pressure of the other’s presence.

You can adjust to the absence of your partner.

Final Thoughts

You can know how to break up with someone who you love, but breakups are still unpredictable and they can be painful. But as much as possible, they should be done with respect and compassion.

This isn’t just for your ex. It’s for you as well.

References

Segal, Jeanne, Ph.D, Gina Kemp, M.A., and Melinda Smith, M.A. 2025. “Coping with a Breakup or Divorce Grieving a Relationship.” HelpGuide.org. https://www.helpguide.org/mental-health/grief/dealing-with-a-breakup-or-divorce.