What’s better for a first date: grand gestures or small gestures?

Small, consistent gestures are better than grand displays on a first date. They show genuine interest and create a stronger connection without feeling forced or materialistic.

How does communication help make a great impression on a date?

Being present, actively listening, and paying attention to social cues makes your date feel acknowledged and valued. Effective communication builds comfort and connection.

Why are nonverbal gestures important in dating?

Nonverbal cues like body language, eye contact, and hand movements signal interest and engagement. They can strengthen trust and attraction if done correctly.

What’s a thoughtful way to choose a first date activity?

Choose an activity your date enjoys rather than focusing only on what you like. Asking about their preferences shows respect and consideration.

What are some small but respectful gestures during a date?

Examples include offering their seat, opening doors, walking beside them, and maintaining close but respectful proximity. These timeless gestures show attentiveness and care.

Why do small gestures create a lasting impression?

Small gestures carry thought and intention, making them memorable. They communicate genuine care and help build intimacy more effectively than flashy or expensive actions.

Small Gestures Done Consistently Strengthens Bonds

Small gestures of thoughtfulness and interest can create a huge impact on their impression of you.

One of the most common misconceptions of first dates is that you win your date's heart by showing them grand gestures of affection and appreciation. People end up buying expensive gifts, reserving a table for two at an upscale restaurant, or even paying for an expensive event like a concert or a show.

The truth is, your date will most likely just forget about those things because the only thing they’ll remember about you is how you treated them and the connection you’ve built thus far. Flashy displays may create an illusion that you are a capable boyfriend, but what is the point of all those grand gestures if you can’t even connect on a deeper level?

The thing is, grand gestures can feel disingenuous. It’s like you are desperate to impress your date that you resort to showering them with luxury just to make them like you. In a first date setting, it can backfire. You’ll attract the wrong kind of women—those who are only after material things. If you want someone who likes you for who you are, then small, consistent gestures are the way to go.

Small gestures might seem insignificant, but if they’re done consistently and genuinely, you’ll effectively create a solid foundation for your connection.

Let’s learn how the smallest of things can create the biggest impact on your first date.

Communication: Presence and Social Cues

Presence is important when you’re communicating with your date because it assures them that you are approachable and easy to talk to. It also signals to your date that you are interested in them because you are present at the moment, and not distracted by anything else.

Moreover, effective communication is important. Actively listening to your date is one of the few romantic gestures for her to feel noticed and acknowledged. By doing so, you’re allowing your date to make herself comfortable enough to talk.

Active listening doesn’t mean parroting what your date says and ending it with a question mark. Active listening is acknowledging a person’s statement or opinion and following up with something that either relates to or empathizes with them.

Here are a few tips on how you can actively listen to your date:

Express the appropriate emotion and reaction to acknowledge their statement.
Listen to your date with intent by asking clarifying questions.
Give a similar experience to show relatability. For example, if they say they like to travel, tell them about the time you traveled to another country with your family.
Utilize nonverbal cues like nodding or leaning towards your date.

While communication relies heavily on verbal interactions, non-verbal cues such as body language play an important role in effectively improving your connection and leaving a good impression on your date.

Nonverbal Gestures in Communication

When it comes to dating, nonverbal cues like body language and hand motion keep your date interested in what you have to say. These nonverbal dating gestures show them that you are engaged.

According to HelpGuide, body language puts people at ease, builds trust, and attracts. However, it could also offend, confuse, or undermine your statement. The way you look, move, react, or posture yourself says a lot about how you feel at the moment. It’s important to understand that even when you’re not speaking, your body is speaking for itself—some people are more sensitive and observant of body language, and one wrong move can give them the wrong idea.

This small gesture of romance acknowledges your date, making them feel seen, heard, and understood—what better show of romance than letting them know they exist?

Choosing the Right Romantic Activity

People think that they should either “go big or go home” when it comes to setting up the first date. They would reserve a table-side dinner by the large aquarium of a waterpark or go out to a fancy rooftop bar to have drinks and see the view of the city skyline.

While those are some romantic things to do with your date, you need to ask yourself, “Does my date want this, or do I want this? ”

The best way to prepare for your first date is to ask them what they like. Do they prefer watching movies over going on a dinner date? Or maybe they like going to see a flock of birds in an aviary. Planning the date together means you respect your date’s preferences.

Choosing what activity your date likes may seem like a small gesture, but it gives them a big impression about how considerate you are. There are many choices and things to do on a date, yet you chose what they want—that shows that you are willing to do anything to be with them.

There are many things to do on a date, but doing the things your date likes is a small gesture of thoughtfulness.

What to Do During Your Date

The first date will always be awkward. Worse, you can’t just assume they’re okay with everything you’re doing, such as holding their hand or their waist while heading towards the venue. So, what should you do to avoid unknowingly offending your date with your actions?

Remember what you’ve learned about body language and nonverbal cues: It’s important to first “read the room.”

If you want to make subtle moves on your date without bothering them, do the following:

Offer their seat — A timeless, classic move that is a small but respectful gesture, signifying chivalry and manners.
Open or close the doors for them — As above, this is a timeless and classic move. Not only are you showing chivalry, but also your attentiveness. This applies to car doors and to restaurant or hotel doors.
Lead the way by being beside them — Instead of walking ahead of them, walk beside them to your destination. Leading the way beside them gives them a sense of security.
Be in close proximity — According to Psychology Today, one of the few ways to attract people is through proximity. Staying close or a light touch on the back are a few examples of small but romantic gestures.

Little Actions Have the Largest Impacts

Sometimes, you don’t need a grand spectacle just to show how much you like the person.

Less is often more.

If you consistently show small gestures of thoughtfulness and interest, you’ll build a great impression on your date—a lasting one, even. Conversations carry the most weight on a first date, but actions and gestures solidify the connection between two potential lovers.

Small gestures of interest create intimacy. Why do you think people treasure tokens or small gifts? Because there is thought and intention behind them. The silent message of “I thought of you” is powerful enough to create a strong, genuine connection.

So, if you want to impress your date, choose small gestures rather than grandiose ones.

References

“Body Language and Nonverbal CommunicationCommunicating Without Words.” 2025. HelpGuide.org. https://www.helpguide.org/relationships/communication/nonverbal-communication.

Stalder, Daniel R. 2020. “What Makes Someone Physically Attracted to You?” Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/bias-fundamentals/202003/what-makes-someone-physically-attracted-to-you.