A Dater’s Guide to Navigating Long-Distance Relationships

Long-distance relationships are challenging, but fortunately, they’re not impossible to sustain.

Long-distance relationships are never anyone’s favorite. You don’t see anyone going, “Oh, my partner lives a thousand miles away. It’s no big deal.” Nearly everyone in such arrangements always carries some angst from the physical separation.

If you’re in a similar situation, here’s some good news: you’re not alone.

Navigating this setup isn’t for the faint-hearted. Whether you’re having difficulties or not, some sound long-distance relationship advice always helps, even for seasoned couples.

To that end, this guide can help you get through these rough waters intact. Here’s everything you need to know about keeping things afloat, even from afar.

What Kills Long-Distance Relationships?

Many are skeptical about sustaining relationships from far away. They balk at the idea because of the challenges.

The doubters aren’t entirely coming from pessimistic places. Some of their skepticism has merit. They’ve either witnessed it through secondhand accounts or experienced it themselves.

Fortunately, far-flung romances aren’t all gloom and doom. Part of maintaining these relationships is identifying possible killers. Here are some of the potential reasons for their demise:

Misaligned expectations

Couples aren’t always on the same page, and that’s okay. After all, two people can’t share the same brain cells.

However, that’s different from having contrasting expectations. If you and your partner don’t have proper and reasonable ones in place, you’ll both lack clarity. This doubt and confusion will create friction, gradually killing your long-distance relationship if left unresolved.

Stagnation

Long-distance couples sometimes try to find happiness in other things since they’re far from each other. While this is normal, it becomes problematic when they overtake your lives and put your relationship on the back burner.

Discontent

Continuing from the previous reason, stagnation brought about by the distance can sow the seeds of discontent. The longer this lingers, the more you might become impatient or, worse, pessimistic about your relationship, which may lead to contemplating a breakup.

Inconsistency

Relationships generally need work for their sustenance. A long-distance one is no different. In fact, it takes double the effort to keep the wheels turning.

Physical separation is an obvious obstacle, of course. However, it shouldn’t stop you and your partner from trying to bridge the gap as much as possible. If both parties don’t put in the work, you render your relationship meaningless.

Anything short of consistency kills a long-distance relationship. Don’t settle for half-baked efforts.

Overidealism

There are silver linings to long-distance love. However, they shouldn’t be romanticized. Being overly idealistic sets the scene for disappointment and frustration. Long-distance romances are worth fighting for, but that fight is not as dramatic as some make it out to be.

Infidelity

This reason is, arguably, the number one killer of long-distance relationships—and understandably so.

Distance can make someone more susceptible to surrounding temptations. If you feel your relationship is hurting you more than it makes you happy, just end it before you do something regrettable like cheating.

Is a Long-Distance Relationship Worth It?

Many understand how lonely and difficult being miles apart from your partner can be.

Long-distance couples will do just about anything to get as physically close to each other as possible. The turmoil can shake even the strongest people.

But on the bright side, when couples work together (which we’ll expound on later) to overcome them, they’ll become better partners. And by extension, they’ll grow into better people.

For instance, the challenges can bring couples closer. Since they live far from each other, reading body language is impossible. This pushes you to open up further and communicate better. This strengthens resolve, making both parties more committed to seeing things through, even well after their sweet reunion.

So, to answer the subheading’s question, yes—these relationships are worth it. Author Anna Agoncillo encapsulates it well in one of the greatest long-distance relationship quotes out there:

If you found that one person who is really worth the sacrifices, pain, and hardships, then your efforts will not go to waste.

How to Make Long-Distance Work

“How can I make a long-distance relationship work?”

Surely, you and your partner (and many others) have asked yourselves this question one too many times as you confront the realities. As established earlier, a long-distance relationship isn’t a walk in the park. Distance is one thing (and a huge one, lest you forget). Meanwhile, keeping things running is another.

How can you and your partner mitigate this physical separation? How can you keep your relationship alive?

If you want to learn how to make long-distance work, allow yourself to feel your feelings.

Let yourself feel

The distance doesn’t feel great, and there’s no changing that. While you shouldn’t get lost in loneliness, you are entitled to feel sad.

The first few weeks or months tend to be the hardest. The dread of physical separation hangs over you like dark clouds, threatening to rain down at every opportunity.

Crying is a normal reaction and coping mechanism, especially in this period. Growing pains will also pop up from time to time. Don’t get too down in the dumps and beat yourself up when you don’t get the hang of it right away.

Here’s some relief: your partner is somewhere feeling all of this, too. And with that, don’t forget to ask about each other’s feelings. Not only is it thoughtful, but it’s also validating.

Make time to talk

We can’t stress enough the importance of communication. Relationships (especially long-distance ones) wouldn’t be what they are without it.

And since communication is an absolute necessity, you two should discuss how you’ll go about it. How often do you want to talk? Do you want to try scheduling conversations regularly? After all, while spontaneous chats are great, they don’t provide the consistency the former offers.

If you think your communication skills are great, long-distance relationships will put that to the test. Whatever walls you have will come tumbling down as you learn to open up even further. So, if you’ve got something to say, go ahead and speak up. Spare your partner from annoying guessing games.

Establish rules

Your relationship won’t go anywhere if you don’t have a direction. Ground rules lay the roadwork for that. They may seem like buzzkills, but they’re not. There’s a reason they exist.

Relationship rules aren’t meant to restrict you. Yes, they establish boundaries, but they don’t stop you from doing what you want. Instead, they remind you to keep your relationship healthy. If you want to learn how to be mature in a long-distance relationship, setting up ground rules will help.

You and your partner should discuss your long-distance wants and needs. Be open to compromise for everyone’s satisfaction. As long as you both know where you stand, following them shouldn’t be a problem.

Make technology your friend

Before smartphones existed, one of the only ways long-distance couples communicated was through handwritten letters. While that romantic gesture hasn’t died out today, a faster medium has taken its place: the Internet.

While it won’t replace the magic of in-person interactions, the Internet has done wonders for helping couples bridge the gap, especially in the communication department.

There are many apps for couples in long-distance relationships. For example, instant messaging and video calling platforms like Facetime and Skype make distances seem less.

Get closer from afar by using apps for couples in long-distance relationships.

Make the most of your independence

Don’t get us wrong. The distance isn’t anything to celebrate. But as mentioned, there is a silver lining to it.

You’ll have plenty of room for yourself. We’re not saying your partner won’t give you this when you’re in close contact. But the space becomes more pointed because of their physical absence.

And because you have a lot of “me” time on your hands, use it to better yourself. Continue pursuing your passions and hobbies. See family, friends, and other loved ones, especially people you haven’t caught up with.

Even a long-distance marriage can benefit from independence. Your experiences from your time alone will give you wider perspectives, which can greatly benefit your union.

Be intentional with your time together

Make time to meet up when the opportunity strikes. While the distance varies from couple to couple, you two should see each other as much as possible. It gives you something good to look forward to.

If the distance isn’t too far, you can make your reunions a monthly affair. For example, you’re in the same state but in different cities. Bridge that gap by visiting each other at least once a month. But if you’re both too far away, try squeezing one lengthy visit into your schedule.

Since reunions are rare, don’t slip into “vacation mode” when you see each other. Adventures and side quests aren’t bad, but isn’t quality time together the point of your trip?

Long-Distance Relationship Gifts to Give Each Other

Gift-giving is a powerful love language, especially in far-flung romances. Since circumstances won’t allow you to be in the same place together, a thoughtful present will show your love from afar.

Go the distance (no pun intended) and send your love to your partner with these gift ideas:

Customized care package

If the distance hits you hard, your partner undoubtedly feels the same way. Make them feel extra appreciated by sending over a care package!

The best part of this gift is its customizable nature. While you can send over pre-selected items, add a special touch by choosing the goods yourself. We suggest filling your box with their favorites or reminders of you. Turn it up a notch by including a handwritten note.

Care packages are foolproof long-distance relationship gifts, especially if they’re filled with reminders of you.

Flowers

Few things are as romantic as a bouquet. It’s a great gift suggestion because it’s perfect all year round. They aren’t just for holidays and special occasions.

Send over their favorite blooms to brighten up their otherwise ordinary days. Just choose a flower shop with delivery services to give your partner a sweet surprise from afar.

Fun card game

Card games may be one of the least romantic items to give. However, they help you learn more about each other through entertaining means.

Add excitement to virtual date nights (which we’ll touch on in the next section) by gifting your partner an unconventional card game. We suggest selections like The Ultimate Game for Couples and We’re Not Really Strangers. Their questions make for entertaining and insightful long-distance relationship games.

If you’ve found your match through the site, go the extra mile and send them gifts through our delivery service! Just complete the necessary steps and leave the logistics to us.

Date Ideas for Long-Distance Relationships

Who says dates are non-existent in long-distance setups? Not us! Geographical boundaries and time zones can’t and shouldn’t stop couples from spending time together.

Get closer (even if from a distance) and swap your typical video calls with these foolproof date ideas:

Wine night

Every couple deserves a relaxing night. And what often comes to mind when you want to loosen up? Sharing a good wine with the one you love.

However, since going to wine cellars is impossible with your arrangement, go for the next best thing.

You don’t need to leave your house to enjoy good wine. Open your favorite bottle and bring out your best glasses. You deserve a relaxing night. Make your date extra fancy by pairing your drinks with cheese and cold cuts.

Watch party

Do you have a movie you’ve been itching to see? Has your favorite show dropped its newest season? Grab some snacks and watch together while you’re on the phone. It won’t be like typical nights at home, but it comes close.

Are you short on date ideas for long-distance relationships? Go for the ever-reliable watch parties.

Virtual tour or vacation

No flights and reservations are necessary for this suggestion. Choose a destination and explore its ins and outs from the comfort of your respective homes. Some places offer virtual tours of their museums, national parks, zoos, and natural landscapes, so make the world your oyster and utilize them.

Stargazing

If you both have bright night skies, take advantage of that moment and look at the stars together. Hop on the phone and enjoy the view. You may not share the same sky, but it’ll feel like you do and be just as romantic.

Entering long-distance relationships is one thing. Surviving and thriving in them is another. May this guide help you and your partner get through it together.