How to Make a Relationship Work Despite the Distance

A woman looking at her phone lying down

Knowing how to make a relationship work is essential in maintaining a long-distance relationship.

It has been said time and again: Long-distance relationships are not for everyone. But despite the obvious reasons, some people still ask, “Why?”

Unlike traditional face-to-face relationships, there’s usually no assurance of loyalty in a long-distance setup. Both partners have no choice but to virtually trust each other. The problem with a relationship where the other is far away is that it is very easy to become complacent, and oftentimes, untruthful, leading to infidelity.

There’s no way for your partner to verify whether or not you are telling the truth, let alone what you are doing. They have no choice but to take your word for it. Unfortunately, while some put in the effort to remain true to their words, others take advantage of the distance and cheat. That’s why for many, distance and relationships usually never go together.

Then again, that’s not to say that you should stay away from long-distance relationships altogether. Because when there’s a problem, there’s always a solution! It may not always be within your reach right away, but if you are willing to work it out, no relationship problem is too difficult to face, not even with the obstacle of distance.

What is a long-distance relationship without problems? So, if you are one of the few who have dived headfirst into the world of long-distance love, here are tips on how to make a relationship work despite the distance.


How to Make Long-Distance Work

Maintaining relationships can be tough work, what more if you are thousands of miles apart? Whether you’re just starting out or you’ve been together for a while now, these tips should make the distance more bearable. Just open your mind and don’t be afraid to come out of your comfort zone.


Create Routines, Not Rules

When you’re starting a long-distance relationship, it is always good to set ground rules. With the absence of your partner, you’d normally want to know where to draw the line to avoid instances of infidelity. However, rules can often feel suffocating.

“You are not allowed to talk to other men.”

This is a good rule of thumb to prevent jealousy and suspicions, but if you think about it, it can also be constricting. Are you being too controlling? Remember that some rules can make your partner feel like they’re being caged. So, what’s the alternative? Create routines.

For example, if you consistently talk to your partner, they’ll certainly have no reason to talk to other men. Routine communication will assure them that you are always thinking about them. Not only is this reassuring, but the fact that you go out of your way just to talk to them makes them feel special.

Setting a routine also creates a sense of certainty between you and your partner, which enriches your connection and helps cope with the loneliness and the feeling of missing each other.

Aside from communication, keep the spark alive by going on routine dates with your partner. Who said romantic and fun dates are only for couples in traditional face-to-face relationships?


Go on Routine Online Dates With Your Long-Distance Partner

If you want to learn how to make a relationship work, you need to utilize what you have. That said, what do you have? A working phone, a laptop, or a PC, and of course, the internet—you have the means to communicate online. So why not go on online dates with your partner? Here are things you can turn into enjoyable routine dates with your partner.


Eat Together

Did you know that eating online is one of the most practiced activities on the internet, especially during the pandemic? Take mukbang, for example. This is a kind of vlog where influencers eat food in front of the camera while making a connection with their audiences.

According to the BBC, in a 2017 study by biological anthropologist Robin Dunbar, he stated that “Eating triggers the brain's endorphin system, the main pharmacological underpinning bonded relationships in primates and humans. Eating together as a group ramps up the endorphin effect in the same way that jogging together does. This is because synchronised activity increases endorphin output by a factor of two.”

In the same way that mukbang vloggers connect with their audiences through eating, you can connect with your long-distance partner by eating with them. You can make use of video conferencing applications to see yourselves enjoying each other’s meal. A full tummy, and an even fuller heart!


A woman on a video call with her boyfriend

What is a long-distance relationship if you have never tried doing video calls with your partner?


Go on Virtual Movie Nights

With the rise of video streaming services, people can now watch movies or series wherever they are in the world. Back in the day, people needed to invite their dates to go out and see a movie. Today, you can watch movies and TV series with your long-distance sweetheart right in the comfort and convenience of your home.

You can set a time when you are both free so you can watch together. And again, you can use video conferencing apps to communicate with each other while watching the movie. Doing this routinely not only strengthens your bond but also gives you more things to talk about.


Play Online Games

Since the height of the pandemic in 2020, people have been buying gaming consoles and PCs to keep themselves preoccupied while they’re stuck in their homes. When your loved one is a state away, or even when they are in a different country, you can make use of the same technology to keep yourselves entertained. Routinely playing online games with your partner is actually found to improve cooperation, problem-solving, and communication.

If you’re not into video games, you can opt to play board games. With one partner moving the pieces on one end, the other can jump into a video call to tell the other what they want to do during their turn. A friendly competition between partners allows you to learn a lot about yourselves that you normally wouldn’t have known about each other.


Do Things With Conscience

What this means is to practice integrity in everything you do. Remember that a long-distance relationship can make your partner feel paranoid about the things that you could be hiding behind their back. If you don’t want your partner to develop severe trust issues and paranoia, you need to do things with integrity—be honest with yourself, even when your partner isn’t around.

A clear conscience can be spoken out loud by a person’s behavior. At least with a clear conscience, you can have more conviction in your assurance towards your partner. They need assurance as much as you do.

“If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they’re yours. If they don’t, they never were.”

“If you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear.”

These are some quotes about long-distance love and relationships that make total sense when you practice integrity. What do they have in common? It’s about letting your partner do what they want, because if they love you, they won’t do anything to hurt you. Instead, they’ll do everything to love you more.


Maintain Open Communication

Of course, you can’t be the only one who does all the lifting in maintaining your long-distance relationship. It goes both ways. Everyone has an equal amount of responsibility to be consistent, to inform each other, and to ensure that the relationship is alive and that no one is feeling left out. That’s why communication is one of, if not the most important thing to have in a relationship, especially one that is long-distance.

Communication helps keep you and your partner from doubting each other. Misunderstandings also stem from a lack of communication. Sometimes, what your partner says will mean something different to you. So as much as possible, be an active listener, and always try to provide clear context to whatever you’re trying to tell your partner.


Be Consistent

All of the things that have been said will be for naught if there’s no consistency in your actions. Consistency showcases your dedication to your partner. It means you are determined to make your relationship work, so you put in time and effort to ensure consistency. Fight complacency, the number one killer of long-distance relationships, with consistency.

Like every relationship, you need to be consistent to deepen your connection and cultivate trust in your relationship. If your partner ever senses a slight inconsistency, they’ll likely doubt you again.


Learn to Navigate Long-Distance Relationships

It can be a pain to keep a long-distance relationship stable. But if you think about it, it’s more like an investment. If you invest in each other properly without cheating or cutting corners, the next time you’ll see each other, you will feel like you are each other’s “the one.”

Many have tried to endure the painstaking realities of long-distance love, and unfortunately, not many have survived. But that’s not to say that all such relationships are doomed to fail. Because the fate of your relationship lies in your hands.

The thing is, the effort to maintain the relationship needs to come from both partners. Because what’s the point of being in a relationship if one won’t do their part? That’s why if you ever find yourself in a long-distance relationship, you need to acknowledge that it will be difficult and that you’ll need each other’s help.

If you want to know how to make a relationship work, you don’t have to search far. You can find the solution within your heart.

The distance and the time between you and your partner will never change your mind if you both love each other.


EXTERNAL REFERENCES USED:

https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20241126-why-humans-feel-the-need-to-feast-together