Tips for Smoothly Moving in with a Long-Distance Partner

Economic Circumstances

It’s exciting to share your lives together. But don’t let your emotions dictate everything. Also consider the practicality and convenience of such a decision.

Dating and relationship expert Marisa T. Cohen states in an interview with The Knot that, in cities where the cost of living is high, couples can move in together if their lease agreement timelines align.

Goals

How long should you date before moving in together? How soon is too soon to move in together? — These questions don't matter as much as you think they do.

Many couples base their cohabitation timeline on the length of their relationship. But you can move in as early as your first few months together if your goals align.

In an article with Cosmopolitan, writer Emily St. Martin shares that she moved in with her then-boyfriend, now-husband, only five months after meeting him on a dating app. Her loved ones were concerned about her safety, but she thought it was a good way for them to get to know each other.

Cultural Differences

In the interview mentioned earlier, Cohen cited cultural factors as another area of consideration.

You and your partner have differences. They might prioritize their family more than you do yours. Or, you might be open to discussing controversial societal issues, while they think it’s better to remain silent.

But living together is more than sharing a home; it’s also sharing an identity. Both of you should be open to blending your backgrounds together. Until then, it’s better to wait and work on being a united front.

#1: Are you ready to move in with your long-distance partner?

Of all the questions, this is the first one you should get out of the way. It won’t work if only one party is willing to live together.

If either of you isn’t ready to take this bold step, there’s no shame in admitting it. You’ll be saving each other time and trouble. Don’t worry; just because you don’t want to live together yet doesn’t mean a breakup is imminent.

#2: What does the long-term financial picture look like?

Financial stress is among the culprits behind a relationship’s demise. No matter how awkward money talks are, this should be enough reason not to skip them.

Some things to discuss before moving in together include your value for money, spending habits, bills, debts, expenses, and both short- and long-term goals.

Understanding each other’s situations and perspectives will go a long way in preventing financial-related conflicts.

Moving in together means equal division of household chores.

#3: How will you divide household responsibilities equally?

Responsibilities test many couples. But it’s not because no one wants to do their part. Rather, everybody has different habits and standards in running a household.

What are your preferences and strengths? Which chores do you enjoy? What task do you hate? Split up responsibilities by using your answers as a basis.

#4: How much space do you both need?

Moving in together doesn’t mean losing your “me time.” You don’t have to be together 24/7. There’s still room for individual privacy even when you’re sharing a living space. Talk about your respective requirements and work from there.

#5: How will you manage and resolve conflicts?

Couples sometimes disagree on conflict resolution methods. Some want to patch up before bed. Meanwhile, others prefer to sleep their emotions off for cooler heads the next day.

Share how you prefer handling arguments. You don’t want your styles clashing in the heat of the moment and doing something you’ll regret.

#1: Timeline

Set a moving date. Also, schedule specific tasks, such as packing and shipping, to avoid feeling overwhelmed and overlooking details.

#2: Belongings and Essentials

What do you want to bring to your new home? Which items should you leave behind? You two should sort out your belongings so you won’t have to carry and unpack too much stuff.

Donate and sell what you can. That extra money may help you out during your move.

We also recommend packing your essentials (toiletries, kitchen tools, and beddings) in separate, accessible boxes. You might need to unpack and use them immediately.

#3: Logistics

Should you need movers, book their services ahead to avoid last-minute hassles. For furniture, measure your new space to ensure everything fits.

#4: Utilities

Share your new address with relevant parties (banks, employers, old post office etc.) so you won’t lose track of payments and other obligations.

Transfer your utilities (water, electricity, internet, post office, etc.) to your new address by disconnecting your current connection and requesting installation in your new space. Set up new accounts if necessary.

#5: Cleaning and Maintenance

Schedule cleaning and maintenance services for your old and new places. Each of them should be in mint condition. You don’t want to move into dirty spaces and leave your old home a mess for new owners/renters.