How to Tell a Scammer from a Real Person in Online Dating

A man with his hands on his head while facing a laptop

A person who knows how to tell a scammer from a real person has a better chance of finding love online.

When you’re looking for love, you can be vulnerable not just in terms of emotions but also to those who want to take advantage of your willingness to open up and get to know others.

The risk can even be greater when you’re meeting people online.

To protect yourself, you have to learn how to tell a scammer who wants to swindle you from a person who is genuinely looking for the same thing you are: a romantic connection with someone special.


What Are Online Dating Scammers?

Who exactly are these people operating scams using online dating platforms?

According to the Federal Trade Commission, an online dating scammer is someone who utilizes or hijacks dating apps and other social networking sites to steal money or personal information.

Unlike real people who use the internet to meet and connect with fellow singles from all over the world, romance scammers are only pretending to be interested in you. They misuse modern technology to find their victims and exploit online dating’s key features like wider audience reach and anonymity.

As a result, someone who is willing to take a risk to find true love by trying international and cyberdating services can end up falling prey to these criminal entities if they’re not careful.


Why Do People Scam People?

The primary reason why scam operators do what they do is money.

Instead of paying for all the things that a legitimate business requires, they will only have minimal costs when they pretend to be something they’re not online. Fraud operations ride on the reputation of actual dating companies to attract their targets.

Meanwhile, scammers who work on their own assume the role of a person using real dating sites. They can slip through the cracks and get in touch with an unsuspecting victim who believes they also want a genuine relationship.

Aside from financial gain, some scammers also enjoy tricking others out of malice or a misguided sense of excitement.


How Does Scamming Work in Dating?

To avoid relationship scams online, you need to know how they work.

Learning how to tell a scammer from someone who is sincere about finding love begins with you understanding the most common process of romance scams.


Making Contact with Their Victims

Scammers either join legitimate dating platforms and pose as real people or create fake websites that lure their victims using stolen photos and fabricated content.

The Federal Bureau of Investigation explained that romance scammers who use a fake online identity will focus on gaining someone’s trust and affection. They will create an illusion of a special connection to manipulate their victims.

These criminals are everywhere on the internet, which means they can infiltrate even popular dating and social media sites.

An example is the case filed against a 43-year-old woman in Nevada in 2023. Using a popular dating and networking app, she allegedly targeted older men and convinced them to meet up in person only to drug them and steal their financial information.

For organized operations, the strategy is usually to model their platforms after real companies and websites.

They can make you believe that you are using actual services and sharing your personal data when all you’re doing is compromising your safety and giving money to a fraud operator.


The End Goal of All Scams

The goal of a legitimate dating company is to offer you services that will help you find love.

Meanwhile, the goal of someone who is also sincere about online dating is to connect with someone special and start a romantic relationship that can eventually turn into a serious commitment.

Scammers aren’t interested in any of that.

They only want to steal your money and data for their own criminal purposes. This motivation will reflect how they interact with you and their other victims, giving you a chance to identify them before it’s too late.


A person in a black hoodie typing on a computer

Understanding how online dating scammers operate gives you a better chance of avoiding them.

Identifying Scam Dating Sites and Romance Scammers

It’s not always easy to spot scammers when you meet them online or avoid dating fraud in general.

More than finding out how to tell a scammer from a genuine person, you also have to be familiar with how the internet and legitimate websites work to really keep yourself safe.


How to Identify a Scammer’s Website

Some scammers use their own platforms to attract potential victims.

Below are common warning signs that can tip you off that they are not an actual dating company or service:

● It uses low-quality graphics with grammatically incorrect content.

● It features photos that are inconsistent in style and tend to appear in other dating websites.

● It doesn’t have a verifiable company history or reviews from satisfied clients.

● It has no clear privacy policy or terms and conditions.

● Its services and payment systems are either vague or too good to be true.

● It asks you to pay a fee or provide your financial information right away.


Signs of a Romance Scammer

You can still meet a scammer even on legitimate dating apps and websites, especially if the platforms don’t have a strict verification process.

To stay vigilant, you can refer to the following red flags of scam operators:

● They are quick to tell you they love you even early into your relationship.

● They don’t give you consistent answers when you ask them about who they are.

● They avoid phone calls or video calls and refuse when you ask to meet them in person.

● They tell you they live far away but can’t give you any proof about their location.

● They pressure you into sending them money for all sorts of reasons.


Is Online Dating Safe?

All this talk of fraud and romance scammers may lead you to believe that online dating is not worth it.

After all, why risk financial loss and the possibility of your personal data being compromised just to meet people on the internet? Isn’t it too much trouble just for the small chance of finding love online?

However, the reason why romance scams exist is because fraud operators know that online dating has a lot of benefits. Legitimate dating services have been successful in making a lot of things about relationships easier and helping people find true love.

Ultimately, romance scams won’t be as rampant as they are if online dating doesn’t work.

So to make the most out of all the good things that the internet offers relationships, you have to be smarter than these scam operators.

The key is to not let yourself be their victim by learning how to tell a scammer from the people you set out to meet — those who are also taking a chance on modern technology to find the love of their life.


References

n.d. What to Know About Romance Scams | Consumer Advice. Accessed February 25, 2025. https://consumer.ftc.gov/articles/what-know-about-romance-scams.

“Romance Scams — FBI.” n.d. FBI. Accessed February 25, 2025. https://www.fbi.gov/how-we-can-help-you/scams-and-safety/common-frauds-and-scams/romance-scams.

Thomas, Louise. 2025. “Nevada woman used Tinder to lure older men into deadly ’romance scam’: Police.” The Independent. https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/crime/aurora-phelps-scam-indictment-vegas-b2702656.html.