What is a Friends With Benefits (FWB) relationship?

FWB, or Friends With Benefits, is described as a casual arrangement between two consenting adults who engage in sexual and intimate activities without the expectation of a committed relationship [1]. It is explicitly stated not to be a type of asexual relationship [1]. Individuals who pursue FWB arrangements often do so because they are not ready for a serious relationship, have experienced past trauma in relationships, wish to avoid the responsibilities that accompany a committed partnership, or are simply seeking sexual encounters [2]. These are mature adults making a conscious decision about what arrangement is beneficial for them [2].

How can I recognize if a woman is only interested in a casual FWB arrangement, especially if I am seeking marriage?

To discern if a woman is primarily interested in a casual FWB arrangement when you are seeking marriage, you should observe several signs [3]. She may frequently deflect or change the topic when conversations turn to relationships and commitment [1, 4]. Her preference might be to hang out only at night, which offers more privacy and avoids unwarranted attention from people she knows [3, 4]. She might also show hesitation or unwillingness to meet your family or friends, as she does not want to associate herself with them, which could suggest a commitment [5]. Another indicator is when sex is always the central topic of your conversations, or when there is abundant physical intimacy without any apparent romantic interest, such as touching or small kisses driven purely by desire [6, 7]. Additionally, she might openly share explicit texts and media, signaling an invitation for a casual fling [7].

What are common behaviors that indicate a woman wants intimacy but not a committed relationship?

Behaviors signaling a preference for intimacy without commitment include her making sure that neither of you develops emotional attachments or feelings [8]. She might consistently be 'busy' when you try to ask her out, only contacting you at her convenience when she has intimate needs [8, 9]. A woman seeking FWB will not show jealousy if you are with other women, as there is no emotional connection [8]. She will also often refer to you as just her 'friend' to others and avoid labeling your relationship, not wanting to give the impression of being together [10, 11]. Furthermore, she won't mind if you have other partners, since the FWB setup is not exclusive [9]. She will likely avoid involvement in your everyday life or mundane activities, as she views the connection as transactional, primarily for stress relief, rather than a deeper relationship [12, 13]. When intimate, the focus will strictly be on sex, with no desire for cuddling or personal conversation afterward [12].

Why might someone choose a Friends With Benefits setup instead of a committed relationship?

People choose a Friends With Benefits setup for various reasons [2]. They may not be prepared to enter a committed relationship at that time, or they might be recovering from a traumatic relationship experience [2]. Some individuals simply do not wish to take on the responsibilities that come with a traditional relationship, while others are primarily looking for sexual encounters without emotional ties [2]. The source notes that some women, in particular, may have limited time for relationships or prefer not to be in one, seeing FWB as an opportunity to expand their prospects without commitment [3, 4]. This allows them to enjoy intimacy without the obligations of love [4].

What are the implications if a woman avoids discussing future plans or meeting my friends and family?

If a woman avoids discussing future plans or meeting your friends and family, these are significant indicators she is likely seeking a Friends With Benefits arrangement rather than a committed relationship [5, 13]. Her deflection of conversations about commitment can mean she is only interested in FWB [1, 4]. Her unwillingness to meet your friends or family indicates she does not want to associate herself with them, preventing others from assuming you are in a committed relationship [5]. When she explicitly tells you she doesn't see a future with you, even if she still wants to spend time when she feels lonely, it clearly signals her desire for nothing more than a casual arrangement [13]. Such behaviors suggest she views the relationship as transactional, mainly serving as an avenue for her to relieve stress, rather than a deeply personal connection [13].

25 Signs She’s Only Looking for FWB

Build meaningful connections; know the 25 signs she’s only looking for FWB (Friends With Benefits). | Photo by Min An on Pexels

So you met a potential date through a mutual friend at a party. You find her attractive, and you're interested in dating her, as it seems like a promising idea.

Approaching a girl you know might seem like the easiest thing in the world, right? But in reality, it's far from it. The uncertainty of her intentions is extremely anxiety-inducing until you get to know her. Is she in it for the long term?

After talking to her, everything seems to be going well, especially since you know how to spice up a conversation. So, you talk about things that are a little more personal and intimate, such as relationships and commitments.

But then, you notice something about her. She seems to deflect your conversation or change the topic when you talk about relationships.

That could mean one thing: She's only looking for FWB (Friends With Benefits).

What is FWB?

FWB or “Friends With Benefits” is not a type of asexual relationship, but a casual setup between two consenting parties who engage in sexual and intimate activities sans a commitment.

People who seek these kinds of relationships are people who are either not ready to be in a relationship, have been through a traumatic relationship, don't want the responsibilities that come with a relationship, or are looking for sexual encounters.

They are all adults who are mature enough to decide whether choosing this setup would be beneficial or not.

FWB is not a type of asexual relationship, but is classified as a situationship. | Photo by Ron Lach on Pexels

Signs She’s Into FWB

While women these days don’t like the idea of a casual FWB setup, some have no time for relationships, or don’t want to be in one.

Hence, you need to know her intentions before you get too attached to her. So, what signs should you look out for that let you know her preference for FWB?

Here are 25 signs she’s only looking for FWB.

1. She Only Hangs Out with You at Night

Why wouldn’t she go out with you in the morning? That’s because she’s either working or she doesn’t want any unwarranted attention from the people she knows.

Going out at night offers more privacy. And if you think about it, it can get lonely at night, and if she’s calling you to come over, you already know what she wants.

2. She Doesn’t Want to be in a Relationship

You can tell from the get-go if she’s not interested in a relationship because she usually deflects the conversation when it’s about relationships.

Staying single allows her to expand her prospects without being bound by a commitment. She only likes the idea of intimacy, not the responsibilities that come with love.

3. She’s Hesitant to Meet Your Family or Friends

Normally, when you have a new friend, you try to see whether your friends will match each other's vibe or not. You can tell if she’s just looking for FWB if she doesn’t want to meet your friends.

Another sign is that she doesn’t want to have anything to do with your family—gatherings, dinners, or activities. She doesn’t want to associate herself with them; otherwise, they’ll think you’re in a commitment together.

4. Sex is Openly Talked About

Understandably, everyone has sexual needs, but not everyone is comfortable with the idea of having sex with someone they’re not in a relationship with. While discussing sex is not taboo, it can be concerning when it is always the topic of your conversations.

5. All Intimacy, No Romance

You may notice that she is physically close to you but does not express any romantic interest. While some people are naturally affectionate, it can seem unusual for a woman to feel comfortable being intimate with someone when there’s no emotion involved.

If she starts touching your arms or legs, giving little kisses out of pure desire, that’s a sign she only wants physical intimacy.

6. She Shares Explicit Texts and Media

It would seem odd that a woman would openly share with you her private pictures. Typically, sharing such intimate content is reserved for people in committed relationships.

If she’s open to sending you and showing you her private and explicit pictures, she’s clearly inviting you to be her casual fling.

7. She Doesn’t Want to be Emotional with You

She makes sure you both don’t get any funny ideas, like catching feelings for each other or emotionally connecting with you. Conversations are always casual.

8. She’s Always “Busy”

Whenever you ask her out or go somewhere to meet up, she always seems to be busy. She’ll only hit you up at her convenience. This is because she couldn't care less about you. She’s only in it for her intimate needs.

9. She’s Not Jealous When You’re with Other Women.

A woman who wants a FWB setup doesn’t care whether you are seeing other people. She’s fine with you sleeping with another woman. After all, there’s no emotional connection between you.

10. You’re Just Her “Friend”

When someone asks about your relationship, she immediately tells them that you’re just her friend. She will never tell anyone she’s dating or sleeping with you, so as not to give people the impression that you are together.

11. She Keeps Flirting With You

In the early stages of your date, you could tell she’s just in it for the casual side of things when she keeps flirting with you or makes suggestive comments.

She makes these kinds of comments or moves because she wants to see how far you will go for her, or how you’d react to lascivious needs.

12. She Only Wants You When She’s in Need

Most of the days, she wouldn’t call or message you, making you feel like she’s ghosted you.

But if she comes out of nowhere asking you if you’re up and available, chances are she’s looking for someone to fool around with.

13. She Doesn’t Mind If You Have Other Partners

Since your setup is not exclusive, she won’t mind if you’re seeing other women. Unlike in traditional dating setups where you’re exclusively dating one woman, your FWB doesn’t see it as a problem when you’re romantically dating someone else other than her.

14. She Doesn’t Want to Be Involved in Your Mundane Activities

Since she only wants to have a casual FWB setup, she doesn’t want to be a part of your everyday life. She’s not your girlfriend or someone special, so she has no reason to ask how you are or what you’ve been doing.

15. Strictly Sex, Nothing Personal

There are no strings attached between you. She only feels a sensual attraction for you, not anything else. She doesn’t want you to cuddle or do anything cute—she only wants both of you to let go of your frustrations by being intimate with each other. Once the deed is done, you go your separate ways without so much as a conversation.

16. No Romantic Dates

Since you two are just friends with benefits, she will reject the thought of going out on a romantic date with you. She would rather go on a coffee date or a casual meet-up, like having brunch or an afternoon tea.

17. No Labels

One of the most common signs that tells you she doesn’t want to be in a relationship but wants to be FWB is when you are frequently intimate with each other, but she avoids labels. She’d rather be called your friend.

18. She Doesn’t Want You to be Part of Her Personal Life

Dating is supposed to be a deeply personal experience where you delve into each other’s personal lives. You’ll know she wants you no more than an FWB if she prefers your “relationship” to be transactional. She considers it an avenue for her to relieve stress and nothing more.

19. She Doesn’t See a Future With You

She’ll tell you right off the bat that she doesn’t see a future with you; however, she wants to spend time with you whenever she feels lonely. As painful as it sounds, she just doesn’t want to be in a relationship, or anything more than that.

20. She Only Brings You Home When No One’s There

She wants to keep you a secret, so it’s obvious that she doesn’t want anyone to know you’re her FWB. Being alone offers more privacy, and no one will know you even set foot in her place.

21. Your Physical Appearance is the Only Thing She Compliments

Since she only has sensual attraction towards you, her compliments revolve around how you look—your arms, your legs, or maybe your chest.

Yes, it’s only natural for women to compliment your looks, but it can be alarming if it’s the only thing they see in you. In short, they’re thirsty.

Sensual attraction is one of 25 signs she’s only looking for FWB | Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels

22. She Doesn’t Care About Your Interests

When you talk about your hobbies or interests, she doesn’t pay any attention to them. She doesn’t want to know more about you; she only wants your connection to be transactional.

23. She’s Likely to Have More Sexual Contacts

There’s a reason why she only wants to have a casual setup with you; that’s because she probably has other people to keep her company as well. She basically wants a backup in case either of you isn’t around.

24. She Doesn’t Mind Having No Contact for Longer Periods of Time

Communication is an important part of relationships. In FWB setups, no contact for a certain amount of time is a welcome reprieve. They hate having to deal with you on a regular basis, unless they need you for something.

25. She Openly Shares Her Fantasies

One of the signs that she’s into being FWB with you is if she’s open about her sexual fantasies. People don’t normally share these things with other people unless they’re in a committed relationship. But since intimacy is the priority in an FWB setup, sharing fantasies is often necessary.

***

One’s intentions in a relationship are only clear once you get to know them better. If you want to avoid a relationship devoid of emotions, such as an FWB setup, take these signs to heart and navigate relationships effectively.

External References:

Parker, Stanley. “10 Clear Signs She Only Wants a FWB Relationship.” https://blueheartbeat.medium.com/10-clear-signs-she-only-wants-a-fwb-relationship-33dc3765a264.

“20 Unmistakable Signs She Wants To Be Friends With Benefits And Nothing More.” https://thepleasantrelationship.com/signs-she-wants-to-be-friends-with-benefits/.