A Match Whose Actions Speak Louder than Words
Unsure about a match’s intentions? Remember that actions speak louder than words.
When we’re in love, we cling to our match’s statements and promises, their words weighing heavily on us. But sometimes, they only tell us what we want to hear.
They claim to possess a specific trait or skill to match our preferences and expectations. Then, they go out and do the opposite. How confusing, right?
Words are powerful. But they don’t always tell the whole story and mean little when they have nothing to back them up.
What one does is more telling than what they say. So, if you’re looking for love and a healthy relationship, fall for someone whose actions speak louder than words.
All Talk, No Substance
Communication is important in relationships. But people sometimes lie. All they have to do is say the right words to make you believe them.
The digital age has made words even cheaper. A match can profess their love, make a promise, or apologize for their mistakes in a few simple taps. If they’re feeling fancy, they can post a carousel of pictures or upload a romantic reel to drive their point home.
But without follow-through, their words are meaningless.
Why Are Actions Louder than Words?
Actions make lying difficult. People can try to conceal themselves. But their facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice will eventually reveal their intentions and character.
Actions talk louder than words because they’re tangible evidence of one’s priorities and beliefs. It’s either they do something, or they don’t. No smooth-talking in the world can change that.
If a match tells you they don’t beat around the bush, they should follow that up by being straightforward with you. If they’re consistent, they’re worth trusting.
Actions also provide examples. If your match is always transparent about their feelings, they may encourage you to do the same, paving the way for a healthier relationship.
Love Is an Action, Never Simply a Feeling
The subtitle is a quote from American author Bell Hooks. But what does it mean?
It’s heart-fluttering to hear someone say they love you. But sometimes, you can only find bold confessions and promises at the beginning. Even then, they alone won’t suffice. The euphoria will eventually leave the driver’s seat.
Actions of love, on the other hand, are the driver of feelings. Here are a few examples:
Every time you need support, your match is one call away. They’re willing to put their plans on the back burner to be with you.
Every time you make a mistake, they forgive you, despite getting angry.
They’re making a choice to keep professing their feelings, falling for you, and maintaining your connection. In this case, the love you share is a love that lasts. It’s more understandable, reassuring, and meaningful.
Love is an action, not just a feeling.
Falling for Someone Whose Actions Speak Louder than Words
In this modern dating landscape, fleeting encounters, superficial swipes, and guessing games are the norm. But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible to find a lasting, serious relationship.
A person who shows their love through action is an intentional and dedicated partner. They know what they want, so they know how to behave. But they’re not putting on a performance to woo you. Rather, they’re prioritizing the quality of your connection.
If you want to experience something genuine, they’re the type of person you should be looking for.
Reciprocating the Love
Say you found the person described above. If you love them like you say you do, you should learn to reciprocate their efforts. You can’t just profess your love without doing anything to prove it. Relationships won’t last if one just sits there and does nothing.
In a Psychology Today piece, one-half of a busy couple shares this: “I know he loves me. But knowing that he loves me and experiencing his love are very different.”
With this, how can you make your actions speak louder than words in a relationship? Show up for your partner by making these choices:
#1: Stay curious about each other.
If you think you know everything about each other, the truth is, there may be some discoveries awaiting you both.
If there’s one thing constant in this world, it’s change. Your partner is no exception. That growth is why you should keep the curiosity going (and vice versa). The more you learn about each other, the closer you’ll get.
#2: Love them the way they want to be loved.
Actions of love mean different things to different people. Just because you have your preferences doesn’t mean your partner has the same. They may speak a different love language, and that’s okay!
Take the time to learn and speak each other’s love language. You can refer to Gary Chapman’s five acts of love: quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, gift giving, and physical touch.
#3: Do what they like.
To show love through actions over words, consider your partner’s passions and interests. You don’t have to like them or adopt them into your day-to-day life. But they will appreciate you for showing up and doing it with them.
For example, you can tag along with your partner to the mall and indulge them in a little retail therapy. Even if you don’t like shopping, you accompany them anyway because you know how much they enjoy it.
#4: Help them out when you can.
Try to anticipate your partner’s needs. It can be as simple as a step in their morning routine or an item from a specific store.
Doing little favors for your partner can mean a lot, so don’t mistake their simplicity for the bare minimum. Helping them out can make them feel seen and understood.
***
Actions speak louder than words because they reveal our true selves. In relationships, they’re a clear indication of how much someone loves you and vice versa. As dramatic as romantic declarations are, they’re useless without tangible support.
Actions are the loudest statements of your intentions. So, find someone who can make this bold declaration, even through the smallest means, and be that type of person for them.
References
Bloom, Linda, and Charlie Bloom. 2020. “Love Is an Action That Shows Our Devotion.” Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/stronger-at-the-broken-places/202011/love-is-an-action-that-shows-our-devotion.