Situationship vs. Friends with Benefits
Relationships aren’t as clear-cut as they once were.
Labels didn’t matter, and people communicated their needs straight to the point. If a couple was dating, they were dating. If they weren’t, then they weren’t a thing in the first place. It was as simple as that.
But over time, new terms and arrangements emerged that encapsulate various romantic experiences and perspectives.
Situationships and friends-with-benefits arrangements are among them.
Many confuse the two or think they’re the same because of the lack of commitment. But they aren’t.
Let's compare and contrast a situationship vs friends with benefits.
Defining Friends with Benefits
We’ve all heard about this concept. Research on FWB relationships has consistently shown their prevalence, especially among young adults.
A 2009 study involving 125 undergraduate students found a 60% lifetime prevalence. Then, in 2019, research conducted among 156 Puerto Rican university students reported that 61.8% had a FWB at some point, and 17.9% had a current FWB partner.
But what is FWB?
Going by its name, people in this arrangement are just friends. They may be longtime pals or have just gotten close.
They may be physically attracted to each other, looking to explore their desires, or fill a void. Either way, they agree to be physically intimate.
However, there are no strings attached, and the arrangement runs as long as both parties want it to.
The Definition of a Situationship
Situationships are a recent development compared to FWB. It’s a relationship where two people act and behave like a couple, but without commitment.
According to sex-health educator Angelica Lindsey-Ali, a situationship stems from a person’s desire not to be tethered to a partner.
They don’t want to lose the benefits of being single (e.g., independence and opportunities for career growth). But they want the things a partner can bring to the table.
With this, there are different types of situationship.
The most common ones result from (1) the pressure to “couple up,” (2) the desire to build a foundation for a long-term relationship, and (3) the pressure to shield themselves from the judgment of being single.
Situationship vs Friends with Benefits: Similarities and Differences
You already know the gist of these two types of relationships. This brings us to the question: what are their similarities and differences?
The Similarities
For one, both are casual relationships. Commitment and long-term plans are out the window. Enjoying the present is the priority.
And two, both involve physical intimacy. For FWBs, it’s the main thing that brings them together. Situationships don’t require it, but most contain it, to varying degrees.
The Differences
Some may conflate the two concepts because of the similarities mentioned above. But that’s where they end. The two couldn’t be any more different because of these factors:
Ambiguity
The friends-with-benefits setup has a clear set of rules. Both parties are aware of the arrangement’s nature and what to expect from it.
On the other hand, situationships are in murkier waters. Some are aware they’re in one, while others have no clue what they’ve gotten themselves into. Thanks to the lack of a label, they don’t know where they stand.
Emotional involvement/investment/connection
The foundation of FWB relationships is friendship, not love.
Situationships, however, are a different story.
If you’ve seen situationship memes, you may notice a self-deprecating tone in most of them. One party is catching feelings, but they’re well aware of the other’s lack of romantic affection. The memes may be hilarious, but some get a little too real.
Situationships are a painful gut punch because of the one-sided attachment. You’ve fallen and want to go further, but the other person doesn’t feel the same because it’s all casual to them.
Expectations
According to an analysis of FWB behavior, FWBs consider their relationships as means to fulfill a biological need or gain affection and attention.
With clear expectations in place, you stay in your lane and don’t ask for more than you need.
Meanwhile, situationships are blurry. You don’t know what to expect because you haven’t talked about it in the first place. You’re constantly hovering in “will they or won’t they” territory, which can take a toll on your mental health.
Perks and Perils
Like every other relationship setup, both concepts have their pros and cons.
FWBs get to pick their preferred parts of a relationship. In this case, it’s the physical aspect.
And with that, there’s little pressure to turn it into something serious. The vibes remain fun and casual because there’s intimacy without tradition.
In the case of situationships, the parties involved gain an emotional connection without the commitment. They can enjoy the perks of being in a relationship without being tied down.
But with all that comes the downsides.
There's no emotional connection in FWB arrangements. If you’re looking for depth, you won’t find it there. Even the slightest hint of feelings can be enough to make everything come crashing down.
On the other hand, situationships don’t require commitment. Exclusivity is only implied. The ambiguity leaves you at a crossroads, and you don’t know which lane to pick.
Regardless, both can lead to heartbreak. The dry, transactional nature of FWB and the confusing mess that situationships bring can be brutal, especially for sensitive souls.
Can You Turn the Tides?
“Can a FWB turn into a relationship?”
“Can a situationship turn into a relationship?”
The answer to both questions is yes.
However, the odds aren’t exactly in your favor. A 2020 study revealed that only 15% of FWB relationships turn into committed and long-term ones. And as for situationships, those “almosts” never materialize because they don’t have the proper conditions for real love to blossom.
Don’t throw in the towel just yet, though. Those insights may not look great, but that doesn’t mean a transformation can’t happen.
Regardless of whether you’re in a situationship or an FWB entanglement, transitioning into a relationship from either setup doesn’t happen overnight.
First, both should develop mutual feelings for each other and be ready for progress. You can’t have that commitment if only one person is willing to bat for that development.
Second, you should lay all your feelings on the table. The conversation won’t be sexy, but the clarity this discussion will provide is far better than looking unattainable.
Lastly, both parties should do the work to transition to the next stage. Be intentional with each other’s time and show that you’re ready to get serious.
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We hope this resolves your confusion about situationship vs friends with benefits. And now that you’ve zoomed in on both, may these insights help you navigate your relationships.
References
Quiñones, Randy, Alfonso Martinez-Taboas, Jose Rodriguez-Gomez, and José Pando. 2017. “Friends with Benefits in Puerto Rican College Students.” Revista Interamericana de Psicología/Interamerican Journal of Psychology 51, no. 1 (July): 19-28. 10.30849/rip/ijp.v51i1.68.
Mooro, Alya. 2021. “The Revolutionary Rise of Situationships.” Redacted.
Gill, Sarah. 2023. “The 3 most common types of situationship, according to a sex and relationships expert | IMAGE.ie.” IMAGE Magazine.
Prameswari, Sintya, Mohammad Muslih, Rahmad Tazali, and Ranya Choirunnisa. 2024. “Analysis of FWB (Friends With Benefits) Behaviour Phenomenon among Adolescents through Social Media in the Information Technology Era.” Journal of Comparative Study of Religions 3, no. 2 (May): 77-87. 10.21111/jcsr.v3i02.10500.
Nicholson, Jeremy. 2022. “When Being Friends with Benefits Leads to Love, and When It Doesn't.” Psychology Today.