Falling Out of Love? Look Out for the Signs!

A red-headed woman sitting by the windowsill.

It’s hard to stay in a relationship when you’re falling out of love.

Relationships often burn the brightest in the beginning, and then slowly turn to little embers and sparks as the years go by. After every honeymoon phase, there’s bound to be trouble in paradise.

If you know the song “After the Love Has Gone” by Earth, Wind, and Fire, you’re probably familiar with its lyrics and what it’s all about. It depicts the eventual downfall of a relationship.

Something happened along the way. What used to be happy was sad.

In every relationship, there will always be that one moment that shatters the foundations of trust, happiness, and love—one mistake that can make or break your connection, and how you handle it will decide the fate of your relationship.

Do the right thing, and your relationship will be safe. You might experience a rocky phase, but at least it won’t end. Make the wrong decisions, and soon enough, one starts to fall out of love.

Why Do People Fall Out of Love?

Why do people fall out of love when they can work things out?

According to Brides, leaving the honeymoon phase is an important step in taking your relationship to another level. However, once you take off your rose-colored glasses and start to see your differences, there are instances when the negatives begin to outweigh the positives, causing one or both partners to eventually fall out of love.

Some become sheepish and doubtful of their relationship, while others become indifferent and simply no longer care about what happens next—they become jaded.

However, there are also times when falling out of love is intentional and warranted. For example, if you catch your partner cheating on you with someone else, you would at one point want to know how to fall out of love with someone you used to trust.

Warnings and Signs You’re Not Really In Love Anymore

Am I falling out of love?

Are you and your partner going through a seriously awkward phase in the relationship? Maybe the arguments keep piling up, and you two have become emotionally exhausted to the point you don’t look forward to talking things out with each other.

If you are, then there’s a chance that you two are falling out of love. There are several factors and signs you should look out for if you feel like the love between you and your partner is falling out:

A man leaning on the wall.

It’s time you ask yourself, “Am I falling out of love?”

Your Uncertainty Grows Stronger

Having doubts in a relationship is normal—who doesn’t doubt their partner from time to time? Doubts are usually relieved when a partner gives reassurance to their partner through communication and actions.

But what happens when your partner doesn’t give you any assurance to relieve your doubts? Your doubts will grow—you start thinking about whether this relationship is worth sticking through or whether it would be better to leave.

You’re unsure of the decision, but it’s not looking bright anymore.

Becoming Indifferent

When one becomes indifferent, it indicates an emotional withdrawal from their partner due to negative issues or external factors affecting the relationship. This withdrawal creates a causal link to the relationship's problems. As time passes and issues remain unresolved, the connection between the couple gradually fades.

When a person becomes indifferent, they are left with little to no emotional connection with their partner. A person consistently falling in and out of love will soon develop indifference.

Loss of Excitement to be Together

Let’s say you both were inseparable when the relationship started—everywhere you go, they go too. Even on mundane activities such as cleaning the house or going grocery shopping, you were always together.

But nowadays, you feel like you don’t have any space, or you’re being choked; you don’t feel the excitement of being together like you used to.

There’s a possibility that you find yourself more excited to see other people or strangers to hang out with rather than your partner.

You’re More Hesitant to Talk to Your Partner

It’s easy for a couple to share interesting opinions and have deep discussions on random things when they’re in love with each other.

One thing you will notice when you’re falling out of love is that you’re more hesitant to share your thoughts or experiences with your partner.

This sign of falling out leads to a halt in your communication—also known as “stonewalling.”

Longing to Have Something/Someone Else

It’s only natural for couples to long for each other. Everyone desires to love and to be loved—that’s why you’re in a relationship.

But when you’re falling out of love, you often develop a certain longing and desire for something or someone else. It doesn’t matter where or who it comes from.

People long to feel complete, happy, or satisfied; hence, they start looking for it somewhere instead of their partner.

What to Do When You’re Falling Out of Love

When a person is slowly falling out of love, the chances of them leaving the relationship are high—it would take a drastic lifestyle change or a great show of reason to make them reconsider. However, it’s not that easy to make them change their minds.

Before you decide on what you should do with your relationship, remember to take your time, scope things out, weigh out your options, and then decide whether you want to continue the relationship or leave.

If you do decide to leave the relationship, it’s okay—you’re tired, feeling hopeless, and you’re not certain you could continue being with your lover. Focus on recuperating and regaining yourself before you get back into the dating world.

Deciding to leave your partner is not a cruel decision; though it is painful, one must understand that continuing to linger in a relationship that benefits neither of you is considered toxic.

If you do decide to continue with the relationship, you need to have a clear talk with your partner and be honest about everything. If your partner understands and is willing to help things become better, then you should also do your part to improve the relationship.

Sometimes, a person falling out of love is a reminder that not everyone should be complacent in the relationship. There’s a difference between what can be tolerated and what cannot.

At the end of the day, it’s your decision whether you should ride this one out and try to improve your situation with your partner or leave the relationship.

References

Neuman M.D., Fredric. 2013. “Falling Out of Love: Step by Step.” Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fighting-fear/201311/falling-out-love-step-step.

“12 Signs You're Falling Out of Love With Your Partner, According to a Relationship Expert.” 2024. Brides. https://www.brides.com/falling-out-love-4150474.