How Do You Get Over Someone Who Broke Your Heart?

How do you get over someone who broke your heart? You start by mending that broken heart yourself.
If there are questions about love that people have probably been asking for as long as anyone can remember, this would be one of them.
After all, it does feel like something that’s impossible to answer: how do you get over someone who hurt you and left you with a broken heart? How can you start moving on if all you can think about is the person who left you behind?
Believe it or not, it starts with allowing yourself to feel the grief and pain that most people would rather ignore.
Grieving Process of a Breakup
There are different stages of grief after a breakup, and it’s important to understand what they are so you know how to get through them and finally start healing.
Grief in general often has five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
Denial is when you refuse to accept the situation, while anger is when you lash out. With bargaining, you’re likely negotiating with the other people involved or even yourself, while depression is when you’re wallowing in your negative emotions.
At the end of all that is acceptance, which is when you’re finally able to come to terms with what happened.
When broken down into these neat steps, it’s easy to assume that grieving is a straightforward process. All you have to do is go from point A to point B.
But according to licensed counselor Jenna Palumbo, learning how to get over someone can be complicated because grief is complicated. You are experiencing intense emotional pain and distress because you feel like your world will never be the same again.
The best way to deal with heartbreak like that is to give yourself time to go through each stage of grief and welcome the support of the people who love you.
How to Get Over a Broken Heart
Romantic heartbreak may be different from the loss of a family member or a lifelong dream that you had to let go of, but it doesn’t mean that it hurts less.
However, you should still identify what type of heartbreak you’re dealing with so you know which specific steps will be most helpful for you as you move on.
How to get over someone you were never with
How do you get over someone you weren’t really in a relationship with? What are you supposed to do when you’re the only one who is emotionally invested?
In some ways, this kind of scenario is both better and worse.
It can be better because there are fewer people involved, and it’s easier to control a situation when you only have to be responsible for your own feelings. But it can also be worse because it’s difficult to get closure from someone who may not even know that they’re hurting you.
The key is to acknowledge the fact that your feelings were unrequited and that it’s not really anyone’s fault. Sometimes, the person you love just doesn’t love you back. It doesn’t mean you did something wrong or that they wanted to cause you pain.
For instances where the person you love felt the same way but was not willing to commit, it can be more challenging because you’ll feel like you’re lacking something. What you need to do is accept that you can’t make any decisions for them.
You have to stop wishful thinking and driving yourself mad with what-ifs.
Instead, remind yourself of your worth. You weren’t wrong for loving, but you also owe it to yourself to take only the love you deserve.

Accepting the things you cannot change is part of learning how to get over a broken heart.
How to get over someone who cheated on you
This next type of romantic heartbreak is arguably one of the most visceral. When there’s betrayal involved, the hurt and grief can feel a lot worse.
Getting cheated on means that the person you love deliberately broke your heart. This kind of experience often leaves you with not just emotional pain but also trust issues and a tendency to blame yourself for things that aren’t your fault.
This is why when your partner breaks your heart by cheating on you, the first hurdle you have to overcome is recognizing the fact that you’re not responsible for what happened. Even if you had lapses or you made mistakes in your relationship, nothing can justify their decision to be unfaithful.
You also have to stand firm in your boundaries and resolve. You’re under no obligation to forgive your partner’s betrayal, and you shouldn’t let anyone convince you to give them another chance if you know in your heart that you can never trust them again.
How to get over someone you’ve been with for years
When it comes to heartbreaks that seem impossible to accept, the ones that end a long-term relationship have got to be among the hardest.
After all, how do you get over someone you thought you’re going to be with forever?
It can be that you’ve grown apart and started pursuing different goals in life.
There’s also the possibility of you not being compatible or having conflicting expectations of each other the whole time you’re together.
Sometimes, it can also be a matter of mistakes piling up and one or both of you deciding that you’ve had enough. When a line is crossed, it can be difficult to stay even if leaving feels like you’ll be wasting everything you’ve built together.
Letting go of a long-term partner is never easy. It means you have to say goodbye to a future you thought you would share and all the dreams you won’t be able to fulfill.
To come to terms with it, you must remember who you were before your relationship. Revisit all your motivations that aren’t connected to your partner so you can start living your life for yourself again.
It’s also important for you to make peace with the fact that no love is lost. Just because your relationship ended doesn’t mean that it was all a waste. There are still a lot of things that you can learn from it that will help you become a better person and lover moving forward.
Overcoming Depression After a Breakup
When you refuse to process your emotions and go through all the stages of grief after a breakup, it’s easy to fall into depression and get stuck with all your negative feelings.
How do you get over someone if you’re not willing to help yourself?
Frankly? You don’t. If you’re not prepared to put in the work and you keep refusing the support that’s being offered by your friends and family, you’ll never be able to move on and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
There’s nothing shameful about nursing a broken heart because that’s just how life goes, but it is your responsibility to mend it.
No one else can do it for you.
References
Legg, Timothy J., and Anne Lamott. 2019. “How to Heal a Broken Heart: 32 Tips for Moving Forward.” Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-heal-a-broken-heart.