Moving On: How to Get Over a Long-Term Relationship

Breaking up with someone you’ve been with for so long hurts. You need to know how to get over a long-term relationship.
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How do you leave someone you love after all the years you spent together? It’s difficult to be fair. All those years of love, conflicts, resolutions, and confusion—gone. You’re left with guilt, regret, and pain. Now, these are normal for anyone who’s gone through this. But that would be a lie if someone told you that carrying these kinds of pain would be good for you. Somehow and someway, you need to let go of the burdens you were carrying. And you need to know how to get over heartache and loss without plunging yourself into a world of hurt.
Getting Over a Long-Term Relationship
Ending a long-term relationship is not as easy as you might think. It is, in fact, one of the most challenging experiences in life. Not to mention, the process of healing often takes time. To guide you on your path to recovery, here are strategies to help you navigate this difficult experience.
Acknowledge Your State
Before anything else, you need to accept the realities. Your partner of 6+ years is not there with you anymore—enjoying their life as a single person again. And you need to accept that. “But why do I still think about my ex?” That’s because your ex has been a big part of your life. You’ve grown attached to them, as they have grown attached to you.
Separating from each other's hearts is the most difficult thing to do as someone trying to get over a long-term relationship. You can’t just rip your feelings away; like duct tape, you’re hurting yourself more if you’re trying to get rid of it quickly. That means you gotta start slow and start from the very tip of what’s happening.
Take Space
This doesn’t mean you must be alone—no, no. What it does mean is that you should focus on yourself. Now that you are single, you need to better yourself and discover what separated you and your ex. Self-reflecting on every detail of yourself allows you to connect more deeply with your inner psyche.
Give yourself space and time to connect with yourself, creating a safe environment for your well-being and avoiding all the unnecessary thoughts rushing through your mind about the breakup. This is where you will comfort yourself and gather the pieces of yourself.
Disconnect From Your Ex
Once you’ve broken up with your ex, it’s no secret that you should prevent them from ever contacting you again. You need to protect your space. Learn to say NO. If your ex wants to link up or do something together, just say no.
As much as possible, little to no contact with each other. You wouldn’t want to be with each other while still hurting. The purpose of disconnecting from each other is to heal and move on already.
Grieve, Cry, and Express Your Emotions
You are human after all. You’re carrying a burden that others wouldn’t understand. Allow yourself to break down—letting it all out.
Crying and grieving is a great way to release your frustrations and emotions. Cry as much as you want. You’re free to feel hurt and regret. Don’t suppress yourself, you’ll only hurt yourself by keeping it all inside; just like soda bottles with so much pressure being shaken inside, once you open up just the slightest bit, it all gets violent and dangerous.
Don’t deny yourself your emotions. Find an avenue to release these feelings and free yourself from them. We wouldn’t want to bring emotional baggage when we start to move on, right? The purpose of grieving is to release these emotions that drag us down.
Practice Healthy Coping Mechanisms
We all know the feeling of having no energy and motivation to do anything—we just love to ball up in our sheets, lie down on the bed, and just be a rock on a log. But doing nothing makes us worse. While we waste our time on the bed wallowing in our sadness, there are opportunities in life slipping away.
So we need to pick ourselves up and find a routine or activity that gets us to move, to think critically, and to be invested in. If you don’t know what kind of activities to do that would help you move on, here are some examples:
Participate in Sports and Recreational Activities
Playing or learning a new type of sport is one of the most common ways for you to learn how to get over a long-term relationship. Sports require practice, dedication, and execution from your mind and body. That means your mind will be preoccupied with learning new skills. If you have been playing sports like Basketball, Football, Baseball, or Volleyball; why not something like Pool, Chess, Swimming, or Golf?
Not into sports? What about doing yoga or pilates? Doing these things helps you navigate your energy and how you spend it. Being able to control your breathing, and focusing your mind on your breath and movements helps occupy your mind instead of thinking of your ex.
And if you’re not a fan of intense stretching and breathing programs, the gym is always there to welcome you and your broken heart. They say a broken heart is the best pre-workout any person could have… I was told that people usually have great results after months and years of dedication.
Travel
Let yourself be free by going away from the place you’re staying. See something new or from a different perspective. You don’t have to travel abroad just to help yourself move on; you can take a drive to somewhere you’ve never been in the place or state you’re living in.
Try driving slowly and at a cruising speed. See your surroundings in a different view. Go to the nearest mountain or hill and explore a little bit. Head to the city and try out some new foods–street food, pubs, fusion cuisine, anything. Treat yourself to something delightful.
Learn and Learn Better
You know yourself more than anyone else. You are the only one who understands how easy it is for you to adapt to certain things and how difficult it is to pursue some things. When you analyze and reflect on yourself, try to learn something about yourself. What makes you grow as a person? What has changed within you over the past couple of months or years?
Safety Nets and Fall Back Systems
Now you might be asking “What do you mean by ‘Safety Nets and Fall Back Systems?’” These are your friends and family. After all, they were there before your ex. They will always be there. So what do you do with them? Come over to them, and ask for some comfort, guidance, care, and an ear to listen to your grief.
Family will always give you unconditional love; a reminder that you are still loved despite it all. Friends will always provide you support and morale—brothers/sisters in arms rallying to your side, ensuring you’re okay and ready to get you back on your feet. Your family and friends were there for you before you were in a relationship, so don’t hesitate to go to them and re-energize.
All on You to Decide
It will always be your choice whether to improve yourself, start getting over your long-term relationship, or crumble at the thought of it. You are allowed to feel bad of course, but nobody would want to see you wallowing in sadness for a whole year. You deserve to shine after all that. Besides, you owe it to yourself to get better so you can finally move on from your long-term ex.