Here’s How Interracial Couples Make Their Relationships Work

Interracial relationships bring different cultures together, but not without clashes.

Since culture shapes identities, a couple’s differences will likely result in conflict. For instance, you might place great importance on family as a societal unit. You prioritize their needs over your own. On the other hand, your partner has an individualistic mindset. They value their independence and encourage self-sufficiency.

At some point, you’re bound to argue about each other’s beliefs. Unfortunately, you can’t easily resolve this by agreeing to disagree.

Some raise their eyebrows and judge interracial romances. Others outright disapprove of them. As if cultural differences weren’t hard enough to navigate, societal opposition makes things more difficult. 

In an article with CBS News, Rev. Kimberly D. Lucas of St. Margaret's Episcopal Church states that she has yet to counsel an interracial wedding where someone didn’t have a problem with the union.

“It's something that forces them to confront their own internal demons and their own prejudices and assumptions,” she explains.

Even famous interracial couples aren’t immune to this problem.

For instance, Black American actress Tamera Mowry-Housley once broke down, saying that hateful people called her derogatory terms because of her marriage to Adam Housley, a White American journalist.

Some interracial couples speak different languages. For example, one partner is fluent in English, while the other can only speak basic phrases.

If these couples met through the best interracial dating sites, they may have had help in addressing language barriers. The platform, for example, might have translation features.

But technology can only do so much to help. Communication gaps, no matter how small, can still lead to misinterpretations and further conflict.

Sometimes, people stereotype, discriminate, and throw microaggressions around like they’re nothing. Their judgments cross the line and show their prejudice.

And this bias hasn’t sprung up out of nowhere. It can stem from various sources, including (but not limited to) the following:

Some people develop their convictions from early childhood, whether from the teachings of their parents or the influence of their peers. Often, those stay with them for the entirety of their lives.

Some people don’t need direct interactions with interracial couples to form their negative biases. They formulate their misconceptions after observing certain instances.

Sad as it sounds, some can’t fathom someone dating outside of their race. Others even consider it a betrayal. They mask their strange sense of entitlement as a desire to “protect” their race.

The intricacies of interracial relationships can be uncomfortable to discuss. Everyone has unconscious biases that they don’t want to expose to their partners. But couples who stay together have these important conversations.

In doing so, they approach the topic with open and reflective minds. No culture is right or wrong because this isn’t a black-and-white matter. They don’t dismiss each other’s experiences, and they aren’t afraid to acknowledge imbalances.

Remember that silence is the enemy. The longer you stall these difficult conversations, the harder your struggles will become.

Interracial relationships are as enlightening as they are romantic. Couples have the opportunity to learn more about the world (and by extension, themselves) through different eyes. 

No question is too stupid to ask. Although some might seem disrespectful, neither party acts defensively. Sometimes, the intentions are good and in an effort to understand.

You and your partner are each other’s teachers and students. Learning about each other’s different backgrounds widens your knowledge and reduces misunderstandings.

Interracial relationships have long been normalized, but some can’t help but give unsolicited opinions. Worse, some of them can come from loved ones.

The tough conversations mentioned in the first part of this section don’t stop at the couples themselves. They extend to their family and friends. But couples who stay strong don’t tolerate such disrespect. They call them out. While it’s hard, it’s necessary.

Matching their negativity is tempting, but it’s not the best solution. Take the high road. Educate your loved ones about their remarks and perceptions empathetically. 

When negativity and criticism continue, couples assert themselves through boundaries. This won’t eliminate judgments, but it shows that they won’t tolerate any more disapproval and unfair remarks, even if it’s from the people they love.

To establish boundaries, you should have a sense of “we” to emphasize your unity and its strength.