Is jealousy normal in a relationship?

Yes, jealousy is a normal emotion in relationships. However, it becomes harmful when it leads to control, mistrust, or possessive behavior. In long-distance relationships, jealousy often arises from lack of physical contact and miscommunication.

What triggers jealousy in long-distance relationships?

Common triggers include time zone differences, missed calls, lack of physical affection, insecurity, and miscommunication. The absence of visual cues and delayed responses can make partners overthink and doubt each other’s intentions.

How can couples deal with jealousy in relationships?

Couples can deal with jealousy by communicating openly, being honest, and showing maturity. Building trust and understanding that not everything can be controlled helps prevent unnecessary suspicion.

How do you stop jealousy from ruining a long-distance relationship?

Stopping jealousy starts with acceptance, faith, and trust. Accept that you cannot control your partner’s surroundings, have faith in their loyalty, and maintain trust based on consistent behavior and communication.

When does jealousy become unhealthy?

Jealousy becomes unhealthy when it leads to obsessive thoughts, controlling actions, and accusations without proof. When jealousy starts affecting emotional well-being or trust, couples should seek to address it through mature dialogue or counseling.

How Do You Deal With Jealousy in Relationships?

Caption: Jealousy in relationships is normal, but in LDR, it is often compounded by several factors.

"You are mine, and I am yours."

Sounds romantic, right? But if you actually read between the lines, you'll realize that these words might sound a little possessive.

In fact, being possessive, protective, and greedy with your partner is normal in relationships. It assures your partner that you are devoted only to them.

However, being possessive has a drawback: Anxiety. This is especially true in long-distance relationships (LDR).

Anxiety is a significant factor that contributes to the emotional strain that often leads to the breakdown of relationships. When individuals feel anxious, they may believe that others are trying to challenge their partner's loyalty, worrying that infidelity may occur. This lack of trust usually causes jealousy.

Out of all the long-distance problems, jealousy in relationships is the most common cause of rifts between lovers, and if left unaddressed, it can be devastating. A couple’s geographical distance can aggravate anxiety.

Because they can’t see each other, they often overthink that their partner might be entertaining someone behind their back. To them, anyone their partner is with is a threat to their relationship. This kind of acute vulnerability is a specific type of jealousy that long-distance relationship couples consistently face.

But what truly causes people to feel overly protective, and how do you avoid triggering jealousy in a relationship?

Relationship Triggers of Jealousy in LDRs

There’s always a trigger that causes a person to feel jealous. For couples who aren’t long-distance, it could be seeing their partner hanging out with a colleague, friend, or even their neighbor.

For those in long-distance relationships, it’s much worse. The fact that there’s no way for them to ensure that their partner isn’t doing anything that might compromise the relationship makes jealousy prevalent in LDRs.

Triggers include:

Lack of Physical Evidence and Non-Verbal Context

Because of the geographical distance between the couple, it is easy to read things out of context. One problem is miscommunication. The lack of body language and tone of voice can give a person the wrong context, leading them to misinterpret what their partner intended to convey.

A partner hurrying for work or catching a ride would send short bursts of messages, or a busy partner would send generic replies. The lack of emotional display or context causes a person to fill their mind with the worst-case scenario.

Although the use of emojis in messages can convey a person’s emotions, it often fails to deliver their feelings accurately. Hence, this ambiguity leads their partner to suspicion, which triggers jealousy.

A woman wondering why her boyfriend is smiling.

One of the many relationship triggers is self-doubt.

Timezone or Schedule Discrepancies

Time is one of the most crucial necessities of every LDR couple. Factors such as sleep schedules, opposite time zones, and working hours make the window of communication smaller.

Understandably, not everyone can keep up with their partner’s schedules, especially for overseas lovers. In most relationships, one person might be busier than the other. Hence, it hinders a person from scheduling events such as virtual dates.

A missed call or a three-hour delayed response can ultimately be misinterpreted as “avoiding” or “being with someone.” People who experience anxiety or jealousy may not see it as a logistical issue, but as something intentional; hence, any missed opportunity to respond promptly creates a vacuum that allows suspicion and doubt to fill the void.

Self-Doubt and Insecurities

One of the leading factors that causes a person to develop jealousy in relationships is insecurity. According to Mindful Health Solutions, self-confidence plays an important role in managing our jealous emotions. People often question their worth. Sometimes people may also form expectations in themselves, and if these aren’t met, they may experience harmful jealous feelings.

For couples who are geographically close to each other, it is easier to give assurance through simple gestures, such as hugs, kisses, or holding hands, to silence insecure thoughts. But for LDR couples, the lack of physical affection and assurance greatly enhances a person’s insecurity.

Insecurity triggers a person to feel threatened, creating a negative emotional response, especially if the person is possessive. A person’s insecurity is more likely to stem from their childhood, growing up unwanted or misguided. They often question themselves if they are enough for their partner, thinking they might lose them at any moment.

The Jealousy Treatment | A Mature Approach

While feeling jealous is a completely normal experience, it becomes problematic when someone envelops themselves in envy and insecurity. As stated, insecurity is one of the causes that leads a person to develop irrational envy.

It takes more than counseling and guidance for a person to overcome envy. So, how does one address their jealousy issues to make their relationship thrive?

Maturity is the answer.

Jealousy in relationships can be avoided or at least minimized by being mature. One must understand that maybe the whole problem was right under their nose the whole time, better yet, within them. It’s important to take the high road of maturity, especially for those in LDRs.

Couples who are genuinely happy with each other don’t pester themselves with trivial issues, such as jealousy. Knowing how to stop jealousy in a relationship requires the following:

Acceptance

There are things beyond our control, such as the people working with our partners, the people in the gym, strangers ogling at your partner, or even random people sending message requests because they think your partner is single.

You need to understand that you can’t control everything. There will be factors and circumstances that lead you to feel envious. You must learn to accept that there will always be an external factor.

Faith

Loving someone, especially in LDRs, requires faithfulness. If you truly love your partner, and your partner does the same for you, then you both will do your best to avoid hurting each other and trust that they will never cheat or lie.

Faith is the confidence in your partner, knowing you can count on them to do the right thing, especially when they’re alone.

Trust

What do successful long-distance relationships have? Trust in their partners. Trust is what keeps the relationship strong—like a bridge connecting one island to another.

If your partner has given more evidence of their reliability, honesty, and consistency, then you have no reason to be jealous or anxious if they entertain someone.

Indeed, jealousy in relationships is normal, as long as it is in healthy amounts. While there are uncontrollable circumstances that can cause jealousy, you can always control how you react to them. Be mature enough to draw the line between healthy and toxic jealousy.

References

“The Deeper Meaning of Jealousy: A Psychological Exploration into What It Means to Be Jealous.” 2023. Mindful Health Solutions. https://mindfulhealthsolutions.com/the-deeper-meaning-of-jealousy-a-psychological-exploration/.