What exactly is a catfish scam, and why are men, particularly those seeking marriage, often targeted?

A catfish scam involves operators of internet fraud who spread complex lies to target your feelings, trust, and financial well-being, often through dating apps and social media sites [2]. This is also known as sweetheart fraud or dating fraud [3, 4]. Men are disproportionately affected; data from the 2024 Barclays Scams Bulletin shows that men are more likely to fall for romance scams, representing 59% of reported cases, and are nearly three times more likely to send money to someone they're dating online without meeting them in person [1]. The psychological impact on victims, including severe embarrassment, guilt, anger, and an unwillingness to trust again, can affect mental health and future relationships [1].

What are the common red flags to identify a potential catfish scammer's online presence or behavior?

Several red flags indicate a potential catfish scammer. They exhibit a dubious online presence, often having few friends, little to no posts, or limited engagement on social media accounts, which might be newly created just for the scam [5]. Their 'friends' may also appear suspicious, with newly made profiles or fewer connections, and often no true social circle is visible [5]. Unlike real people, romance scammers typically have few photos [5]. Additionally, they tend to keep your relationship a secret, a purposeful strategy to manipulate and control you [6]. They might present this secrecy as romantic or claim that disclosure would be problematic for them, for example, due to a sensitive job or family not understanding [6]. A continuous refusal to do video calls is also a hallmark of a catfish scammer, as real people will typically be able to engage in them, while fraudsters make excuses like a broken camera or poor internet [7].

How do catfish scammers build trust and manipulate their victims' emotions over time?

Catfish scammers are patient, understanding that real trust takes time to develop [8]. They will spend weeks, months, or even years cultivating a strong emotional bond before requesting money [8]. They create the impression that the connection is genuine and developing naturally by sharing made-up personal anecdotes, celebrating achievements, and discussing plausible but ultimately false future plans [3]. A common tactic is meticulously compiling details about your life, goals, fears, and financial status through regular conversation, allowing them to customize their identity and future requests to specifically target your vulnerabilities [3]. This leads them to become the 'perfect' confidant or companion, making you more emotionally invested and making it extremely difficult to leave or question their intentions, even when warning signs appear [9]. They may also engage in 'love bombing,' declaring intense affection, discussing marriage, or making ambitious future plans very early in the relationship to undermine your logical judgment and rapidly create emotional dependency [10].

What kinds of fabricated stories do catfish scammers use to ask for money, especially for travel or emergencies?

After establishing a deep emotional connection, catfish scammers begin inventing 'crises' or issues that demand financial support [11]. These elaborate tales are designed to elicit empathy and frequently involve scenarios such as medical emergencies, unexpected legal fees, frozen bank accounts, or travel expenses to finally meet you [11]. Other common stories include requests for money for mobile data or communication services, and enticing investment opportunities promising high returns [11]. It is crucial to carefully evaluate these narratives, and if your gut feeling suggests something is wrong, it's best to refuse to send money altogether [11].

What practical steps can I take to protect myself from falling victim to a romance or catfish scam?

To protect yourself, first, guard your personal information and avoid divulging your complete address, financial details, work specifics, or private family information to someone you meet online [4]. Be wary of 'love bombing' and premature declarations of love, as intense affection and marriage talk early on are strategies to create emotional dependency [10]. Evaluate their online presence thoroughly by checking for consistency across multiple social media and dating sites, looking for a history of posts and interactions with real friends, unlike the dubious presence of scammers [10]. Always request video calls as this is a crucial verification step, and a continuous refusal by the other person is a major red flag [7]. Avoid leaving the platform too soon if they try to move the conversation to less secure private messaging apps, as scammers do this to avoid detection and reporting methods [12]. Most importantly, the golden rule is to never send money to someone you have only met online, whether it's cash, gift cards, cryptocurrency, or bank account information, as it's nearly impossible to reclaim once sent [13]. If something doesn't feel right, always trust your gut and disengage [13].

The Ultimate Guide to Outsmarting a Catfish Scammer

A happy woman holding cash and a receipt

Behind every perfect profile is a person who could be a catfish scammer.

While navigating the complex world of online dating can be thrilling, men are also vulnerable to different kinds of threats. One of these threats are operators of internet fraud, a common example of which is a catfish scammer.

Millions of people use dating apps and social media sites in search of a real connection. Still, there is a darker undercurrent where complex lies are spread to target your feelings, trust, and financial well-being.

Data from the 2024 Barclays Scams Bulletin showed a dismal picture: although women tend to lose more money on romance scams, it’s men who are more likely to fall for them. In fact, the victims in 59% of the reported cases were guys, and men are also nearly three times more likely to send money to someone they’re dating online, even if they haven’t met in person yet.

This can have a significant psychological impact, including severe embarrassment, guilt, anger, and an unwillingness to trust again, all of which can affect mental health and future relationships.

To help you navigate the challenges of internet romance, below is a thorough guide on how to identify common tactics used by catfish scammers.

The Alluring Persona of a Catfish Scammer

Let’s begin by exploring a catfish scammer’s playbook, focusing on common traits that can be huge red flags.

1. They are patient.

Catfish scammers are aware that real trust takes time to develop. They will spend weeks, months, or even years developing a strong emotional bond with you rather than requesting money right away.

They give the impression that your connection is genuine and developing at a normal pace. This includes sharing personal anecdotes (which are frequently made up), celebrating achievements, and talking about plans for the future that appear plausible but are ultimately false.

2. They learn your vulnerabilities.

Meticulously compiling details about your life, goals, fears, and financial status through regular conversation is a common tactic of a sweetheart fraud operator. This enables them to customize their identity and future requests to specifically target your weaknesses.

Because they have taken the time to learn about your needs and wants, they eventually turn into the "perfect" confidant or companion. You grow more emotionally invested in your connection the longer it lasts.

Even when warning signs begin to show, this makes it extremely difficult for you to leave or to question the scammer's intentions.

3. They have a dubious online presence.

Do their social media accounts have few friends, little to no posts, or limited engagement? This could be due to their account being relatively new and only made for the scam.

Even the "friends" they do have may appear suspicious. They could be accounts that have also been made recently or profiles with even fewer connections. In many cases, no true social circle is visible.

Romance scammers’ photos are usually few and far between. Real people on social media, on the other hand, typically have a history of interactions, check-ins, and images.

4. They keep your relationship a secret.

This is a purposeful strategy that a catfish scammer can use to manipulate you and keep you under control.

Talking about your relationship with friends, family, or trustworthy coworkers can help you see the warning signs that you may have missed, such as the absence of video calls, inconsistent narratives, or abrupt demands for money.

With this, they may present the secrecy as romantic ("Our special secret love") or suggest that disclosing it would be problematic for them ("My job is very sensitive" or "My family wouldn't understand").

5. They fabricate emotional stories and crises.

After creating a deep emotional connection, the scammer can start inventing "crises" or issues that call for financial support. These tales tend to be complex and are meant to elicit empathy.

They often revolve around medical emergencies, unexpected legal fees, frozen bank accounts, travel expenses to come see you, money for mobile data or communication services, and investment opportunities that promise high returns.

If you are being told such common stories or problems, it's best to carefully evaluate their narratives before deciding to send them money. Better yet, if your gut tells you something is wrong, you’re better off refusing altogether.

A man using his smartphone in a living room

Stay alert for dating frauds by educating yourself.

Practical Strategies to Protect Yourself from a Catfish Scammer

Understanding the different romance scammer tactics is crucial, but it's even more important to have workable defenses in place. Here is a short guide:

Guard Your Personal Information

Be careful with the personal information you share with someone you meet online, regardless of how seamless your connection may feel. Don't divulge your complete address, financial information, work details, or private family information.

Dating frauds thrive on your personal data.

Be Wary of “Love Bombing” and Premature Declarations of Love

Be careful when interacting with someone who declares intense affection, discusses marriage, or makes ambitious plans for the future after only just a few days or weeks of conversation.

This is a strategy to undermine your logical judgment and rapidly create emotional dependency.

Evaluate Their Online Presence

Look into their complete internet presence, not just their profile or display image. Browse other social networking and online dating sites in case they’re also on other platforms.

A genuine person will usually be present on several sites in a consistent and sincere manner, with a history of posts, interactions with actual friends, and a digital trail that supports their narrative.

Request Video Calls

After the initial discussions, suggest a video call. This step of verification is one of the most important.

Video calls will be possible with a real person. Fraudsters, on the other hand, will often have ready-made excuses (e.g., broken camera, poor internet connection, remote location, shyness, etc.).

The hallmark of a catfish scammer is a continuous refusal to do video calls.

Avoid Leaving the Platform Too Soon

Be skeptical if they want to move your conversation away from the dating site to a private messaging app that is less secure.

Scammers do this because they want to avoid platforms that may require further authentication or have methods for detecting and reporting catfishing.

If this occurs, insist on remaining on the original platform until you've had a video call with them and seen their face.

Never Send Money

The golden rule is to never give money to someone you have only met online, regardless of what they say. You should also avoid sending them gift cards, cryptocurrency credits, or your bank account information.

This is the end goal of catfish scams. Once money has been sent, it is nearly impossible to get ahold of them again and reclaim what you’ve lost.

To stay safe online, you must remain alert. Knowing how a catfish scammer operates will help you protect not just your money but also your heart and peace of mind.

Spread the word, be vigilant, and never forget that sincerity, not dishonesty, is the foundation of true connections. If something doesn't feel right, follow your gut and leave. Your real future partner will thank you for it.

Reference:

Finextra Research. (2024). Men more likely to fall victim to a romance scam, while women lose more money. Finextra. https://www.finextra.com/pressarticle/101683/men-more-likely-to-fall-victim-to-a-romance-scam-while-women-lose-more-money