**What exactly is a romance scam or love fraud, and how does it target people looking for serious relationships online?**

A romance scam, also known as a sweetheart scam, is a deception where someone pretends to have romantic intentions towards their victim to gain their trust and affection, ultimately for selfish gain, typically financial [1, 2]. Scammers often create fake profiles on dating platforms and build an emotional connection before asking for money or other favors [2]. This can deeply affect individuals genuinely seeking love and marriage online, as they may be more vulnerable to emotional manipulation [3].

**What are some common red flags or lies I should be aware of when communicating with someone online who expresses strong feelings quickly and says they are from a foreign country?**

According to the source, be cautious if someone you've met online professes love very quickly, often within weeks, and expresses a strong desire to meet but needs money for travel [4]. Other red flags include them trying to isolate you from your friends and family [5], asking for sensitive personal information early on [6], and pressuring you to move communication off the dating platform to less moderated channels [2, 7]. These are tactics used in **love fraud** to manipulate victims.

**If someone I'm talking to online, possibly from the Philippines, Latin America, Thailand, China, Ukraine, or Russia, tells me they have financial problems and need my help to travel to meet me, is this a potential scam?**

The source explicitly highlights the lie: '**I am deeply in love with you and I want to meet you so badly. But I need some money to travel**' as a common and effective romance scammer phrase [4, 8]. While someone you connect with may have genuine financial challenges, it's crucial to be extremely cautious if someone you've only met online asks for money, especially for travel to meet you. The source emphasizes never giving money to someone you've only communicated with online [9].

**How can I protect myself from falling victim to a romance scam while still being open to finding a genuine connection with someone online, potentially from overseas?**

To protect yourself, the source advises being mindful of your social media posts [9], insisting on taking it slow and getting to know the person well [5, 9]. Always ask to meet in person or video chat to verify their identity [9]. Never send money or inappropriate photos to someone you've only communicated with online [9]. Be wary of individuals who push you to leave the dating platform too quickly [2, 7]. Doing your research and choosing reputable dating platforms with verification processes is also recommended [10].

**Someone I've been chatting with online is asking for intimate photos or videos to feel more connected since we are far apart. Is this a normal part of building a relationship, or could it be a scam?**

While intimacy is part of many relationships, the source warns that criminals involved in **love fraud** can use intimacy to extort money through blackmail [11]. Sending inappropriate photos or performing intimate acts online can be collected and used against you later [12]. Therefore, it's wise to be extremely cautious about engaging in such requests with someone you've only met online, as it carries the risk of blackmail and further compromise.

Identifying Love Fraud: Exposing the Lies in Romance Scams

Lady holding a card while using laptop—tools for love fraud

Love swindlers are creative liars, making love fraud hardly detectable.

Here’s a scenario you might have heard of before: Joe was a man who believed in love and marriage. He was ready for a relationship and he was looking for his potential match online. At last, after searching for some time, a beautiful woman who went by the name “Kathleen” responded to him. She sent him a photo of herself, smiling, along with a sweet, “Hello!”

They chatted for days. Kathleen was charming, sweet, and a great conversationalist. She was frank, especially about her financial problems. When she confessed her love for Joe, his friends worried about love fraud.

But Joe didn’t listen to them, even when Kathleen asked him to send her money.

Joe did as she asked because he was devoted to her. This arrangement of theirs lasted for months…until Kathleen simply stopped contacting Joe.

His friends were right. Joe became a victim of a romance scam.

According to data from the Federal Trade Commission’s fraud report on romance scams, there was a total loss of roughly 1.2 million dollars from over 38,000 reported cases in 2024.

Does this mean that online dating is the wrong way to search for love? No. Swindlers have been around long before the internet.

But it does mean that anyone interested in online dating should learn how to protect themselves.

What Is a Romance Scam?

A romance scam, also known as a sweetheart scam, is a con or a trick wherein the perpetrator pretends to be romantically interested in their victim to gain their trust and affection. But tricking the victim into entering a romantic relationship is only the means to an end for the perpetrator.

The romance scammer uses the illusion of "true love" to get something from their victim for selfish gain. Typically, they are after money.

Many romance scammers create fake profiles on dating platforms and use these profiles to respond to and contact their targets. Like any real person who dates online, they begin by building a romantic connection with their targets through texts and calls.

If they meet their target on a dating platform, they will quickly try to move the chats to a free chatting platform with less moderation.

What Are the Usual Lies Romance Scammers Tell?

Man in mask holding a small flower, depicting sweetheart scam

The lies in a sweetheart scam are so discreet, so you need to pay careful attention.

A sweetheart scam works because the perpetrator knows how to tell realistic-sounding stories that make their targets trust them.

So, what are some of the common lies that they tell and how are these so effective?

“I am deeply in love with you and I want to meet you so badly. But I need some money to travel."

This must be one of the sweetest romance scammer phrases out there, and also one of the most effective. Most online daters are looking for love. It makes them feel good that the person they’re talking to wants to meet them. That’s exactly what scammers want them to feel.

But if it’s the goal of so many to find love, then how can anyone differentiate this phrase from the one they so long to hear?

It’s in the timing. Usually, scammers will move too fast. They’ll profess love and even propose marriage within a matter of weeks.

Even if it’s love at first chat, it’s okay to take it slow. Nothing is lost when a couple takes their time getting to know each other.

“Don’t tell anyone about the two of us. They won’t understand. They’ll just try to tear us apart."

There’s a high chance that it’s a romance scam when one person tries to isolate the other from their friends and family.

Unfortunately, these perpetrators are very good writers and talkers. The above phrase and other variants of it puts a romantic twist to what is otherwise a blatant wedge between a target and their loved ones.

Most people would want to share with their friends and families if they meet someone special and would feel flattered to be introduced to their significant other’s inner circle when the time is right.

But a scammer would be afraid of the positive influence of their target’s loved ones. Friends and family are likely to see the scammer for what they are – they can call out certain toxic behaviors that would make the target realize that they’re being manipulated.

It would also be a convenient set-up for the scammer to refuse the target’s requests to meet their friends and family.

“Hmm…I want to get to know you better and I want to make sure that your info is true. Can I see your passport, bank statement, and driver’s license?”

People who commit love fraud are adept at getting their targets to hand them sensitive personal information.

Expressing cynicism or mistrust in the validity of someone’s personal details is one such tactic. It’s understandable to want verification in online transactions or interactions, especially dating. This is something the targets are also encouraged to be cautious about.

Scammers skillfully turn the tables by asking first. Targets then feel the pressure to prove themselves.

“You know what, being away from you is so frustrating. I have needs and so do you. Can we open our cameras and get intimate to feel the connection even when we’re miles apart?”

Intimacy is another thing these criminals can use to extort money through blackmail.

Sexual intimacy is something many lovers enjoy, and being in long-distance relationships or being constrained to online dating can make people feel as though they’re missing out.

While it may seem a normal part of a loving relationship, the danger of sending inappropriate photos or even performing intimate acts live on camera is that these could be collected and held against you.

Many victims of romance scammers end up being blackmailed or even forced into more compromising acts just to keep their photos and videos private.

How to Protect Yourself

At this point, you might be wondering, “Who is affected by falling for scams?”

Do you suspect that you or someone you know could become a victim? It’s better if you don’t wait to prevent victimization than to try and recover from it.

Here are some steps you can take, as enumerated and published by the Federal Bureau of Investigation on their website.

Be mindful of your social media and other online posts. Scammers can use those details to target you.

Insist on taking it slow. Ask the person questions. It’s only right to get to know anyone you’re dating well before making personal decisions about them.

Ask to meet them in person or to video chat with them as a way of verifying their identity.

Never give anyone you’ve only communicated with online or by phone money, inappropriate photos, or financial information.

Beware if they ask you to leave a dating service or social media site so you can communicate directly a little too quickly. Don’t hesitate to say you’re not comfortable enough for that just yet.

Stay Safe While Searching for Love

Be vigilant not only when dating in person but also online. Scammers are good at what they do. They’re not out there still looking up how-to videos by plugging terms like “how to fraud someone” on the search bar. Many have turned it into a profession or even an operation.

Vigilance, however, doesn’t mean you have to give up on looking for love online. You just need to do your research so you can find reputable and legitimate dating platforms. Search for those with meticulous verification processes, transparent privacy policies, and good user reviews.

You might also want to ask around. There might be people within your community who have found love through a dating website. You’ll see for yourself the joy the right love can bring.

References

Federal Trade Commission. 2025. “Fraud Reports.” Tableau Public. https://public.tableau.com/app/profile/federal.trade.commission/viz/shared/4WS8HTYQ6.

Federal Bureau of Investigation. n.d. “Romance Scams.” FBI.gov. Accessed April 11, 2025. https://www.fbi.gov/.