Romance Scammers: Wolves in Sheep’s Clothing
Attractive profiles, sweet messages, and grand promises. Romance scammers are wolves in sheep's clothing.
Appearances can be deceiving, and romance scammers excel at this art. They seem harmless at first, but they reveal their true colors once they have their victims wrapped around their fingers.
We’ve all heard our share of romance scammer stories—and although outcomes vary, they’re all unpleasant!
Since we all strive for a positive romantic experience, we should be careful in navigating the dating landscape (both online and offline). With this, let’s unpack how scammers operate to avoid or combat them when necessary.
The Tactics of Dating Scammers
How do these scammers carry out their objectives? These are the two common tactics they use:
Fake Profiles
One method of deception is through fake profiles. Scam artists on dating sites and social media often use this trick due to its coverage. They can target one person at a time or multiple unsuspecting victims simultaneously.
Anna Rowe, the founder of Catch the Catfish and LoveSaid, two organizations that help combat romance scams and support victims, knows the pitfalls of fake profiles all too well.
Rowe fell for a married man who hid behind fake profiles and became a victim of sexual exploitation. While they were in a “relationship,” he was also tricking more than a dozen women.
This led her to infiltrate online scammer groups to understand how they work on different platforms. She then used her takeaways to launch LoveSaid alongside Cecilie Fjellhøy, one of the victims featured in The Tinder Swindler—a Netflix documentary.
Fake Services/Platforms
Most scammers on dating sites operate individually. But others are under one group/platform.
They create a legitimate-looking site and offer too-good-to-be-true services. They pose as dating agencies or share phony matchmaking services. Either way, both claim to match daters with the men or women of their dreams.
Meta reported disrupting Kenya-linked scammers pretending to be dating agencies. The perpetrators aimed to target Africans on Facebook, Instagram, and other social media platforms. They posted fake profiles of bachelors based in or traveling to the continent looking for love.
How Do You Know You’re Dating a Scammer?
There’s no such thing as a romance scammer list, where you can publicly see the names of individuals who’ve committed such crimes along with their modus operandi.
Now the question is, how can you protect yourself?
Romance scammers use elaboration and social engineering in their operations. Watch out for these manipulation tactics:
Exaggerations
Lying is their main weapon, and they’re skilled at using it. They can be pretty crafty with their stories and questions to exploit people’s altruism or unselfish concern for others.
False promises
Rarely do scammers want in-person encounters with their targets because this means exposing themselves. They say they want to meet up, but they somehow always have a last-minute excuse in their back pocket. They’ll even go out of their way to avoid video calls! If that’s not suspicious, then we don’t know what is.
Financial requests
Say you and your match have been talking a bit. You haven’t even seen each other yet, but they’re already asking you for money.
Talk about a BIG red flag. This is how cybercriminals earn. They start simple, asking for small amounts. When they’ve been fooling their targets long enough, they’ll fish for bigger bills.
Scammers on dating sites like to keep it moving—too fast, that is.
Fast-paced development
Is your relationship progressing too quickly for your liking? You might want to be more cautious.
Relationships should progress organically for both parties’ maximum enjoyment. If your partner is coming on too strong, you might want to think twice about staying with them. Unnecessary pressure often leads to bad decisions that only benefit them.
Requests to switch platforms
Scammers often ask their victims to leave the apps where they met and lure them to other ones. This removes the security (in their eyes, obstacles) and makes access to personal information easier, allowing them to collect all the data they need.
The Consequences of Falling for Scammers
Falling into scammers’ traps has its pitfalls.
The first, and perhaps the most obvious one, is financial loss. You’ll lose your hard-earned money to a criminal who shows no signs of stopping until your bank accounts have run dry. In the worst-case scenario, you might fall into a huge debt.
The second is getting caught up in fraud. Scammers will cosplay as someone else to lure you into sending sensitive information, like your address, bank account details, social media credentials, and even signature. And with that, there can be legal implications. You may become an unknowing participant in cases you aren’t actually involved in.
For instance, you might be listed as an admin of an illegal buy-and-sell group. Or, your signature might be placed on an illegal document.
The third is the development of trust issues. Experiences like this can make you hesitant (or worse, paranoid) to open up to others, and that’s not exactly a knock on them. You just want to protect yourself from hurting again.
But the longer your trust issue persists, the more emotional distress you’ll experience. This may lead to depression and other mental conditions.
Combating Romance Scammers
Whether caught up in a scam or suspecting nefarious intentions from a match, you should know how to deal with scammers.
Arm yourself with the necessary protection with these useful tips:
#1: Don’t overshare information.
Social media may be an online diary, but it isn’t the safest space in the universe. Similarly, while you’re free to share anything on your dating profile, there’s some information you should keep to yourself.
Sometimes, your content may set you up for compromising situations. The lesson? Don’t share everything about you on the internet!
There’s a difference between posting and oversharing. It’s one thing to post about a friendly encounter you had, but sharing the intimate details of your relationship with that friend is another.
If there’s something you want to remain hidden, keep those cards close to your chest. No amount of engagement can replace safety and security.
#2: Have privacy software and other tools at your disposal.
You can never be too secure. It’s better to be safe than sorry, yes? Get ahead of scammers by putting protections in place. Set filters to fish out suspicious emails, make your profiles private to strangers, install protective software, and adjust your phone’s settings for your own good.
#3: Talk about your relationships with trusted people.
It’s understandable to want to keep a relationship private. But to completely keep it a secret? That’s just a dangerous path to walk on. Talk to friends and family about your current situation. They’re just looking out for you, so don’t leave them out of the loop. They may have the solutions you’re looking for.
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Romance scammers may seem like ideal partners, but they’re hiding bad intentions. Keep an eye out and protect yourself.
References
Gibson, Christine. 2025. “A Wolf in Sweetheart’s Clothing: How Romance Scammers Manipulate Their Victims — And How We Can Stay Safe.” Mastercard. https://www.mastercard.com/news/perspectives/2025/what-to-know-about-romance-scams/.
Meta. 2025. “How to Avoid Romance Scams This Valentine’s Day.” Meta. https://about.fb.com/news/2025/02/how-avoid-romance-scams-this-valentines-day/.