What are the most reliable signs of attraction from a potential partner?

Instead of relying on subjective attraction tests, look for open and positive body language, prolonged gazes, dilation of pupils, changes in voice, mirroring of your actions, closing physical gaps, blushing, flirty touching, initiative-taking, and constant communication [1-12]. These signs can indicate genuine interest.

How important is body language in determining someone's attraction towards me?

Body language accounts for a significant portion (60% to 65%) of communication [2]. Open and positive body language conveys receptiveness and can be a strong indicator of attraction. Look for signs like angling their body towards you, avoiding crossed arms, and maintaining eye contact while smiling [2].

Can a person's eyes really reveal if they are attracted to me?

Yes, the eyes can be quite telling. Prolonged eye contact, even in a crowded room, is often a sign of attraction [3]. Additionally, pupil dilation can occur when someone is attracted to another person, due to the release of oxytocin and dopamine in the brain [4]. Pay attention to these subtle cues.

Besides body language, what other subtle signs indicate someone is attracted to me?

Other subtle signs include changes in voice or tone when speaking to you, mirroring your actions or behaviors, and attempts to close physical gaps between you [5-8]. These actions often happen unconsciously when attraction sets in.

Is physical touch always an obvious sign of attraction?

Flirty touching, even if seemingly accidental, can be a strong indicator of attraction, especially for those whose primary love language is physical touch [10, 11]. Look for frequent, gentle touches during interactions, as they often suggest a mutual spark.

No Need for an Attraction Test; Just Look for These Signs

Couple forgoing an attraction test on a date

Who needs an attraction test when you have these signs?

Scientists and researchers have looked for justifications for love since time immemorial.

Plato coined the “other half.”

People in the Middle Ages believed lovesickness was a physical condition.

Thanks to their works, we’ve all gained significant knowledge about love and attraction. However, since people show both in various ways, this also results in different interpretations.

If some can read a person’s attraction toward them, others are a little slow to notice. With this, they create their own attraction test.

Tests can range from personality questionnaires about one’s preferences to quizzes determining flirting style. And with AI now being part of the game, some even use an attractiveness rater to determine how others would see them based only on their facial features.

But these tests, which tend to be subjective, aren’t necessary. If you want to gauge someone’s attraction towards you, look for these signs:

1. Open/positive body language

Body language and signs of attraction go hand in hand. Sometimes, you don’t need words to convey thoughts and feelings. Our bodies do the talking for us through actions. Per a PsychCentral piece, it accounts for 60% to 65% of our communication.

Open body language conveys receptiveness. If the person of your affection emits good vibes from the get-go, get the memo and reciprocate. It’s likely to lead to something more.

Hold eye contact (which we’ll expound on in the next item), and don’t forget to flash a genuine smile. Avoid crossing your arms, and remember to angle your body toward your match while talking to them.

2. Prolonged gazes

Apps are rating attractiveness based on the harmony of your facial features. But they don’t let you know how real people see you. So, they’re not a barometer for interest.

Rather, have you seen Scarface? There’s a famous line by Al Pacino’s Tony Montana—“The eyes, Chico, they never lie.”

Does it sound cliché? Maybe, but he has a point: our eyes say plenty about us.

If someone holds their gaze on you, they aren’t doing it without a reason. Whether you’re in an empty or crowded room, their prolonged eye contact with you is a sign of attraction.

3. Dilation of pupils

This sign has some negative connotations because of its association with drugs and alcohol. However, it isn’t all that bad. If someone’s pupils dilate when looking at another, that may be their attraction showing.

Since the pupil is in the center of the iris, it dilates to help the eyes focus and take in and adjust to the light. But in the context of attraction, this dilation brings a different light.

According to Farrah Daniel of MindBodyGreen, attraction is a psychological phenomenon. It triggers the brain to release oxytocin and dopamine—¾ of the so-called “happy hormones.” This can also affect the pupil’s size, making dilation possible.

It might be worth it to take a closer look at your crush’s eyes if you want to know their feelings for you.

4. Voice changes/tonal shifts

People modulate their voices to express emotions and emphasize points. Often used in public speaking, this shift also happens when someone shows interest in another person.

If a guy deepens his voice to a woman he’s attracted to, he may want to appear dominant. If a woman makes her voice pitch higher than usual, she may want to be noticed. This happens either intentionally or subconsciously.

If you notice someone shift their tone when talking to you vs. other people, that may hint at their romantic feelings.

A man conveying his attraction through his body language

Body language and signs of attraction have been a tandem that’s as old as time.

5. Mirroring

If there’s one attraction test we recommend you do, it’s this: When you’re in a group with someone you’re interested in, pay attention to whether or not they follow your specific actions.

If you slightly lean forward, observe if they do, too.

If you cross your legs, check to see if they do the same.

This is mirroring, an unconscious imitation of a person’s behavior in social settings. When attraction sets in, this phenomenon takes effect. It happens because people want to create bonds.

But aside from being a sign, mirroring has merit in gaining someone’s interest.

Sure, opposite personalities attract each other, but most tend to go with someone they have more in common with. Just remember to be subtle about it to deliver your message successfully.

6. Closing physical gaps

Notice how your feelings go on overdrive when someone you’re interested in moves even just an inch closer toward you.

Attraction naturally drives your desire to get closer to the person of your affection. And this doesn’t stop at emotional connection-building. This also goes physically.

Say you’re sitting across your crush at a table with many ornaments. If they start moving them aside for a clearer view or try to lean towards you, it may be out of their desire to feel physically closer.

7. Blushing

Involuntary responses give away a person’s true feelings. Blushing is among them. As clinical psychologist Mary C. Lamia says, it’s an “honest response.”

Many may associate this with women, but men blush, too. Few things feel as human as your face flushing from excitement when seeing the object of your affection. We’ve all experienced it, yes?

So, if you feel embarrassed about your cheeks turning red at the sight of your crush, don’t hide it. An American Psychological Association (APA) study on reactions to blushing revealed that respondents had positive impressions of people who were blushing in photos.

8. Flirty touching

Few things are as subtle and bold as a touch. When someone always looks for a chance to touch you in your interactions, attraction isn’t a reach. This is especially telling for people whose primary love language is physical touch.

In this sign, the touches often happen “accidentally.” Here’s an example to better illustrate it: You and this person you’ve been seeing are brunching with your mutual friends. When you both reach for the breadbasket, their hands bump into yours.

If this contact happens frequently, you’re not the only one who feels a spark.

Touching may vary by gender. Women tend to go for soft brushes, while men go for direct (but gentle) contact.

9. Taking initiative

Conviction is an undeniably attractive trait, usually winning us over. Sometimes, it even trumps facial attractiveness. But one’s conviction, especially when directed at you, can hint at their romantic feelings.

When someone goes out of their way to make plans with you, they may feel a spark towards you. It’s especially obvious if they take charge of those plans. They won’t wait for you to make moves as they naturally take the lead. Bonus points if they consider your schedules and preferences.

10. Constant communication

As stated in sign #1, most communication happens nonverbally. But let’s not keep the verbal part out of the equation because it’s just as important.

Does a certain someone often initiate or extend their conversation with you? If so, chances are that they’re getting (or already are) attracted. Not only do they like you on the surface, but they also want to know you on a deeper level.

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There’s no need to take an attraction test when these signs manifest. Keep an eye out for them and work your way to one’s heart from there.

References

Fletcher, Jenna. 2024. “How to Identify and Improve Characteristics of Open Body Language.” Psych Central. https://psychcentral.com/health/open-body-language.

Daniel, Farrah. 2020. “How To Know If Someone Likes You: 27 Signs Of Attraction.” Mindbodygreen. https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/signs-of-attraction?srsltid=AfmBOoqpHSXWMW1QxltQibVyuT2oZDrVGqhbxW7r-fvrSwkPqpptfh64.

Lamarco, Nicole. 2020. “The Scientific Reason You Blush When You’re Attracted To Someone.” Health Digest. https://www.healthdigest.com/256556/the-scientific-reason-you-blush-when-youre-attracted-to-someone/.