Attraction: How It Works in Dating and Relationships

Attraction is the foundation of any great romance.

They say your chances of success in dating depends on how attractive you are.

Most of the time, this talks about a person’s physical features and overall charisma. When it comes to attraction between two individuals, factors like sexual chemistry and compatibility are also taken into account.

But these things usually depend on individual preferences, which means they can vary from one person to another. For something so fundamental to the basic understanding of how relationships begin, the concept of attraction remains a subject of much speculation.

Kinds of Attraction

According to WebMD, the meaning of attraction has to do with the sense of closeness, interest, or desire you feel toward someone.

It’s also commonly used to describe the chemistry between people, something that is considered universal while manifesting in a lot of different ways. In dating, attraction is seen as the thing responsible for a man and a woman coming together and taking an interest in each other.

Because it’s such a comprehensive feeling, attraction may be experienced in a number of ways. The three most common types are physical, emotional, and romantic.

Physical Attraction

This is usually what most people think of when they talk about attraction.

It involves the desire for physical proximity and touch. When you see a woman you consider physically attractive, it means something about her face or body is appealing to your senses. As a result, you find yourself wanting to be near her and be given a chance to touch or hold her.

Physical attraction is also further divided into two categories: aesthetic and sexual attraction.

Finding someone beautiful or appealing without the interest to be intimate or romantically connected to them is what defines aesthetic attraction. Factors that contribute to this include a person’s appearance and style.

Sexual attraction, on the other hand, talks about the connection you feel with someone you want to sleep with. It’s usually associated with humans’ biological instinct to procreate and the way individuals evaluate other people’s innate sex appeal.

Emotional Attraction

The next type of attraction is concerned with one’s feelings and sentiments.

If a person’s attractiveness in a physical sense is about their looks, emotional attraction is about their personality. You are drawn to someone in this way because of how easy it is for you to connect with them on a deeper level.

Aside from their character, other aspects that can contribute to this type of attraction is how a person looks at the world, how they relate to others, and how they think. If you’re compatible in most of these aspects, chances are you will be interested in being emotionally intimate with them.

If you like someone for how their mind works, then you’re probably experiencing intellectual attraction, which is sometimes conflated with your feelings for them. It involves the desire to “pick someone’s brain” and hear about their opinion on things.

To be emotionally attracted to someone means to admire them outside of their physical attributes.

Romantic Attraction

When you realize you’re in love with someone and you want to make them yours, what you’re likely feeling is romantic attraction.

It deals with some combination of physical and emotional attraction, where your feelings and desire for a person make you want to pursue a romantic relationship with them.

This is also the foundation of most long-term commitments that eventually lead to marriage. Being romantically attracted to someone is to want to spend a lot of time with them, doing things most couples do like taking care of each other and sharing a life together.

Even distance can’t stop great chemistry between people.

How to Attract Women​

Since there are a lot of factors to take into account when you want to be attractive to someone, it can be challenging to succeed in dating if you don’t understand the concept of attraction.

To inspire physical, emotional, or romantic attraction in women, you must therefore identify your goals and the best ways of achieving them.

Today, the two most popular avenues for meeting single women are through online dating and social events you need to attend in person. The way you approach each setting and how you present yourself can determine how successful you’ll be at catching the eye of someone special.

Online

The first step to an excellent online dating experience is choosing the right resources.

This includes reliable websites or apps with a good track record and services that cater to your specific needs. Not all dating platforms are created equal, so finding one that will connect you to the right women can be tricky.

Sometimes, the way you utilize the resources available to you also matters. To fully take advantage of online dating, you need to learn about things like how to write a nice bio or introduction and how to make your profile picture more attractive.

If you want to appeal to women who like smart and funny men, for example, then a dating bio with a witty one-liner or a great joke can go a long way. Posting a question in your profile page that anyone can answer when they message you can also help you have engaging conversations. How they respond will give you an idea of whether or not you’re mentally or emotionally compatible.

Your photos are another tool you can use to inspire attraction in women. If your physical features fit their preferences, they’ll be more interested in engaging with you if you show them what you look like using appealing images.

In Person

How important is confidence when it comes to being attractive​?

If you’re meeting a woman in person, it can be an important deciding factor. Being assertive and self-assured usually makes a person look better. The ability to make others feel at ease and have fun in your company can also be invaluable when it comes to dating.

Confidence gets you a foot in the door, and you’ll have a harder time setting things in motion without it.

Once you get a conversation started, it’s then important to behave in a way that highlights your best features so you have a higher chance of holding a beautiful woman’s attention long enough for her to get to know you.

Find a balance between opening up about yourself and listening sincerely to the things she tells you. A lot of women like it when a man is genuinely interested in what they have to say.

Your fashion sense also matters when you’re dating in person. How you dress yourself can affect the attraction women will feel for you. Your wardrobe doesn’t have to showcase the latest styles or the most expensive brands. Coordinating colors and picking out shirts that fit will go a long way into making you look dapper.

Lastly, it’s also important to be a gentleman in words and actions. Rude and presumptuous men are unattractive, no matter how winsome his smile is or how nice his clothes are.

Learning how to attract women takes patience and an understanding of what it is the ladies are looking for.

Signs a Woman Is Attracted to You

After understanding attraction as a concept and the best ways to inspire that feeling in women, it’s then important to know whether or not you’ve succeeded by learning to identify signs that a woman is attracted to you.

Different ladies can have varied ways of expressing their attraction, but below are some general pointers that men can watch out for:

• She initiates conversations.

  There is an expectation in common dating practices that men will make the first move. As such, it’s often a good indicator of interest when the woman initiates an interaction.

  If a beautiful lady walks up to you and introduces herself, then it’s probably because she likes you and wants to get to know you. A woman who is attracted to you will also not leave your conversation hanging. Instead, she’ll ask you questions and be genuinely interested in your answers.

  Initiative from women when it comes to dating is also not limited to conversations. If she asks you to dance or play games and engages you in more interactions, then you know she’s very interested in you.

• Her body language conveys her interest.

  Attraction can also be obvious in a person’s body language.

  A woman who constantly makes eye contact and blushes when she smiles at you has a high chance of being attracted to you. Even if she doesn’t say much or is too shy to initiate anything more overt, her actions and the way her body moves will reflect her true feelings.

  Other examples of body language that can clue you in on a woman’s interest include dilated pupils, mirroring, and constant touch.

• She responds positively to what you say or do.

  Just because you initiate your interactions with a woman doesn’t mean that you won’t be able to tell if she’s attracted to you.

  Her response to the things you say and how she reacts to what you do can also show her interest. If she laughs at most of your jokes, even the cheesy ones, or if she enthusiastically agrees with your opinion, no matter how bizarre, then chances are she likes you.

  A woman who likes a man will often have a good time in his company. She will find his words and actions endearing and be impressed by the things he does. She will also make a point to be impressed so you feel good about yourself in her company. This gives her a chance of you reciprocating her interest.

• She finds ways to be around you.

  In addition to initiating conversations with you, a woman who likes you will also make it a point to be near you.

  In a social setting, she will find ways to sit next to you or be included in any group conversations that you’re a part of. She can arrange little “accidents” that give her an opportunity to bump into you or catch your attention.

  This may be more subtle than actually taking an action to show her she’s interested, but even indirect behavior can say a lot about the way she feels.

Things like the law of attraction can give you a new perspective on love and dating.

Is Love at First Sight Real?

If attraction can happen upon meeting someone, then is love at first sight real after all?

Most of the time, it depends on how you define love and even what you mean by “real”. There is attraction involved in love, but the two aren’t necessarily the same. Love is often deeper and takes more time to develop.

Physical attraction is the one that doesn’t usually take very long for someone to feel. One interaction can show you a person’s physical attributes, so you can quickly see whether or not they fit your preferences. A short conversation can also tell you if you have sexual chemistry.

But the other kinds of attraction can’t be dismissed either. After all, love is a progressive emotion and can grow even as early as your first meeting with someone.

If you start with being physically attracted to a woman, that usually means you have a chance to get to know her. This gives you space to nurture emotional and romantic attraction given enough time. In the long run, your feelings can evolve into something that many people will call love.

The interest you have for someone, or the attraction a woman feels for you, may be surface-level when you first see each other, but it can be the foundation for love later on.

Law of Attraction

It’s hard to discuss the concept of attraction without touching on a related school of thought that’s been popular in the modern times: the law of attraction.

Simply put, this idea is centered on the belief that positive thoughts bring positive results in a person’s life. Like attracts like, and you can manifest the things you want by being convinced that you deserve them.

This mindset and way of living has a far-reaching impact in different aspects of society. It claims to be able to influence people’s careers, family relationships, and even dating success.

Though some people still doubt the science behind the law of attraction, it can be useful for people who are on a quest for true love.

Much of dating relies on your willingness to step out of your comfort zone and make an effort to get what you want. Your chances of finding the woman of your dreams are only as good as your determination to go out there and look for her.

Just as confidence is an attractive trait in someone, a lot of women also prefer men who share their dating goals and expectations. If you focus on what you want in a partner, eventually, you will cross paths with women who fit your preferences and who will be compatible with you in the long run.

The art and the science of attraction may not be as straightforward as people would like it to be, but the same can be said of love. It takes a combination of hard work and good old-fashioned luck.

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References

Kunde, Roma. 2022. “Attraction: How It Works and Its Types.” WebMD. https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/what-types-attraction.