What do women generally look for in a man for a serious relationship?

According to research mentioned in the source, women's standards for men are determined by the kind of relationship they're looking for [1]. For serious relationships , women and men agree that internal qualities matter more [1]. These internal qualities include intelligence, honesty, kindness, and other behavioral traits that impact everyday interactions [2].

Is friendship a required step before a romantic relationship with a woman?

No, friendship isn't a stepping stone to romance [3]. While some of the best romantic relationships can develop from friendship , that doesn’t mean friendship has to turn romantic for it to be valuable [3]. If you meet a woman you're romantically interested in, you need to find out if she wants the same thing [3]. If she wants to be your friend, you should be honest with her and yourself about what you want [3].

What are some key character traits women want in a man?

The source outlines several common characteristics women find desirable [1]. These include Honesty , which is about truth, avoiding deception, and acting in accordance with values and principles [2, 4]. Respectfulness is shown by considering and valuing oneself and others, honoring boundaries, empathizing, and treating everyone with courtesy [4, 5]. Supportiveness means believing in others' abilities, being reliable during hardship, and being an empowering figure [5, 6]. Sensibleness involves sound judgment, practicality, considering consequences, and allowing a woman's interest to grow naturally [6, 7]. Being Gentlemanly encompasses selfless kindness, upholding noble principles, and good manners [7, 8]. Finally, being Goal-oriented is seen positively because it benefits both the man and his future partner, showing reliability [9].

How important are qualities like honesty and respect to women?

Honesty is a quality women want in a man , stemming from truth, avoiding deception, and acting according to values [2, 4]. It means treating others fairly and striving for what is just , not taking unfair advantage [4]. Respect is also a fundamental aspect of good character [4]. A respectful man considers and values himself and others, honors boundaries, empathizes, and maintains integrity [4, 5]. He actively listens, acknowledges diverse opinions, and treats everyone with courtesy equally [5]. These are highlighted as key internal qualities important in serious relationships [1, 2].

What Women Want in a Man: A Character Checklist for Men

Q: Does a man's ambition or wealth determine what women want?

Being self-driven and goal-oriented are generally positive traits that benefit you and your future partner and can attract women who aim high [9]. However, the source also states that women of humbler aspirations also appreciate men who prove themselves reliable, even if they’re not wealthy or ambitious [9]. The reason is that women look for equal partners in life – someone reliable to share good times and make bad times easier [9].

Q: Do all women have the same preferences in a man?

No, the source states that what women want in a man also includes other traits outside of character, like attraction, common interests, and personality [10]. These preferences are shaped by their own values, cultures, and personal experiences [10]. Therefore, women’s preferences understandably vary [10]. It's noted that understanding what women want is complex, and what one woman is like may not reflect another [10, 11].

Guy looking at his partner with a smile, depicting what women want in a man

What women want in a man remains a puzzling mystery for most guys.

It’s often confusing figuring out what women really want in a man…but that’s also the thrill of it!

Women can be uniquely complex. What one woman is like may not reflect the attitude of another. Most of the time, you’re left puzzled.

But if you’re interested in dating women or getting to know them, you first have to remember that women don’t always want men as romantic partners.

Understanding what women want is the first step to knowing what women want in a man.

Can Men and Women Be Friends?

Yes, they can. This may seem like a non sequitur, but it needs to be addressed because every time relationship topics come up, someone is bound to ask this question.

No matter what stereotypes there are out there, friendship between men and women isn’t only possible, it’s helpful.

Whether you be workmates, co-parents, neighbors, or a current couple, friendship can make your connection stronger.

But friendship isn’t a stepping stone to romance. Some of the best romantic relationships can develop from friendship, but that doesn’t mean that friendship has to turn romantic for it to be valuable.

So if you meet a woman you’re romantically interested in, you need to find out if she wants the same thing. If she wants to be your friend, you should be honest with her and yourself. Do you want friendship or romance?

Most women, if not all, want a man who is honest about their own goals and sincerely matches theirs.

What Women Want in a Man Based on Character

We’ve addressed friendship. Now, let’s dig into romance.

This checklist only covers the common characteristics men must possess in order to become better people and more desirable partners.

Research by Pamela Regan and colleagues reveals that women’s standards for men are determined by the kind of relationship they’re looking for.

In their article titled “Partner Preferences: What Characteristics Do Men and Women Desire In Their Short-Term Sexual and Long-Term Romantic Partners?” published in the Journal of Psychology & Human Sexuality, a sample population of both men and women agree that internal qualities matter more when it comes to serious relationships.

These internal qualities include intelligence, honesty, kindness, and other behavioral traits that certainly make an impact on everyday interactions.

Honesty

Do girls like guys with honesty?

Some guys wonder this, though it shouldn’t surprise them when the answer is yes.

People may express honesty uniquely, but honesty is about truth. This quality is seen and felt.

Being honest is proven in moments when you speak the truth and avoid deception and misrepresentation. It’s also about acting in accordance with your values and principles.

When you’re an honest man, you treat others fairly and strive for what is just. You don’t take unfair advantage of situations and people.

Honesty emanates from within—the honesty you practice yourself is reflected on everyone around you.

Respectfulness

Another fundamental aspect of good character is respect. Respect is shown by considering and valuing oneself and others.

A man is respectful when he honors the inherent worth of each person. He honors boundaries and empathizes with others.

Furthermore, a respectful man maintains his integrity by setting healthy limits and taking responsibility for his actions.

You are a respectful man if you know how to actively listen, acknowledge diverse opinions, and treat everyone with courtesy equally.

Supportiveness

Being supportive is a very important characteristic. Men attest to how they need the support of their partners. Women value the same thing.

A genuinely supportive man believes in the skills and abilities of others. And in times of hardship, he is a reliable and comforting presence.

If you’re looking to date a woman with plans for her life, you have to be an empowering figure—one who helps her thrive and trusts in her growth. But you need to give support without diminishing your own growth and dignity.

Sensibleness

A man of high quality tends to be a sensible person. He demonstrates sound judgment and practicality. He considers the consequences of his actions before making a move.

Blonde woman’s smile shows how a man’s sensibility in allowing a woman's interest to grow

A sensible man believes in allowing a woman’s interest to grow toward him naturally.

A sensible man avoids behaving impulsively. He prefers to make well-reasoned decisions. He believes in allowing a woman's interest to grow toward him naturally because he understands that can’t be forced.

If you have a balanced approach to life and consider the bigger picture, then you are a sensible man.

Gentlemanly

The gentleman has evolved with the times. But the core of being a gentleman remains selfless kindness and upholding noble principles in his interactions. His good manners are an outward expression of his genuine appreciation for others.

On a side note, showing courteous behavior is not meant to be condescending towards women. To be a gentleman is to be a good man to everyone. It’s a sign of great character and should be a standard.

Even better, being a gentleman doesn’t mean being formal all the time. If you’ve ever wanted to ask, “Do girls get attracted to men that tease them?” the answer is dependent on how the teasing goes.

Ladies generally don’t mind a gentleman who engages them in mutual flirtatious banter or who jokes around. But, of course, in line with gentlemanly behavior, you have to make sure your jokes toe the line between funny and offensive.

Goal-oriented

Being self-driven and goal-oriented are generally seen as positive traits because they benefit you and your future partner.

It also helps you increase your chances of meeting a woman who aims high in life. They’re drawn to men of similar traits.

But women of humbler aspirations also appreciate men who prove themselves reliable, even if they’re not wealthy or ambitious. Why not? Women look for equal partners in life. They’re the best for sharing the good times with, and the bad times are easier to face with someone you can count on.

Women’s Preferences Understandably Vary

What women want in a man also includes other traits outside of character. Attraction, common interests, and personality also matter.

These preferences are shaped by their own values, cultures, and personal experiences.

So instead of generalizing, know what you want in a woman. After that, give yourself the chance to get to know the women you meet. They’ll have their standards, and you may not meet some of them. The reverse can also be true.

But standards don’t have to define your worth.

You have what it takes to win the heart of the right woman for you. You may be miles apart, but if you’re determined to find and meet her, you will.

Keep searching for your true love!

References:

Regan, P. C., Levin, L., Sprecher, S., Christopher, F. S., & Gate, R. (2000). “Partner Preferences: What Characteristics Do Men and Women Desire In Their Short-Term Sexual and Long-Term Romantic Partners?” Journal of Psychology & Human Sexuality, 12(3), 1–21. https://doi.org/10.1300/J056v12n03_01