What are the main reasons why relationships break down, and how can I identify these issues in my own relationship?

Relationships often break down due to issues like **betrayal or loss of trust**, which includes lying and cheating [1, 2]. **Communication problems** are another significant factor, where the inability to express feelings or address disagreements can cause damage [2, 3]. Conflicting priorities and a **lack of intimacy**, both physical and emotional, also contribute to relationship issues [3, 4]. Identifying these issues early on is key to addressing them.

I'm trying to fix my relationship, but I feel like I'm losing myself in the process. How can I repair my relationship without sacrificing my own well-being?

It's crucial to **prioritize your well-being** while trying to fix a relationship. Avoid self-punishment, and engage in self-care activities [5, 6]. You must also understand your own needs and desires, and be kind to your partner without sacrificing your respect [6, 7]. It’s important to practice accountability rather than playing the blame game, so both partners can own up to their mistakes and work on solutions [7].

How important is communication when trying to fix a broken relationship, and what kind of communication is most effective?

**Communication is a cornerstone of any healthy relationship**; without it, connections are impossible [2]. Effective communication involves more than just verbal cues; it includes **body language and how things are said** [3]. Expressing both positive and negative feelings is vital, rather than avoiding difficult conversations [2]. Addressing issues directly and openly is essential to fixing any relationship problem.

What role does trust play in a relationship, and what are some actions that can destroy it?

**Trust is a fundamental pillar of any relationship** [2]. Actions such as **lying, cheating, or being overly possessive can severely damage or destroy trust** [2]. Once broken, trust is very hard to rebuild; it requires a sincere effort from both partners to address the issues and reestablish confidence.

Why do people sometimes ruin themselves trying to fix a relationship, and how can I avoid this?

People often ruin themselves trying to fix relationships due to a **poor sense of self-worth**, which leads to overcompensating and neglecting their needs [8]. Additionally, a **fear of being alone** can drive individuals to desperately try to fix damaged relationships [8]. A lack of boundaries can lead to people accepting disrespect while trying to make things work [9]. To avoid this, make sure to **establish clear boundaries, respect yourself and your partner, and engage in self care** [6, 9].

How to Fix a Broken Relationship Without Breaking Yourself

Couple learning how to fix a broken relationship

Don’t just learn how to fix a broken relationship. Know how to do it while also protecting yourself.

Whether things are rosy or rocky, couples should know how to fix a broken relationship even before troubles brew in paradise. Arguments are inevitable, and conflict resolution is a non-negotiable skill.

However, fixing a broken relationship is one thing. Doing that without ruining yourself is another. Unfortunately, it can be too difficult for some people to do both simultaneously. As they try to mend fences with their partners, they lose themselves, and whatever self-respect they have goes down the drain.

That balancing act may be an uphill climb, but here’s some good news: you CAN do both. Will it be easy? No, but it’s possible.

Why Do Relationships Get Damaged in the First Place?

Before we answer the “How do I fix my relationship” question, let’s understand why it needs repairs.

Relationships don’t break out of nowhere. Like most things, there are reasons behind them. Situations vary, but all have a cause.

Below are the most common catalysts behind their failure:

Betrayal or loss of trust

Trust is a relationship cornerstone. Most breakups happen because the trust between both parties has either been damaged or lost altogether.

This broken trust has many causes, including lying, cheating, and possessiveness. When left unaddressed, these behaviors can create lasting damage to relationships.

Communication issues

Like trust, communication is another important relationship pillar. Without it, connections are impossible.

If you think disagreements are signs of disaster, we’re here to tell you that they aren’t all that bad. They suck, but avoiding them won’t solve any problems. It’s better to express feelings (negative or positive) than to skirt around or avoid mentioning them. After all, how do you fix a broken relationship without communicating the issues? You can’t.

Communication doesn’t stop at verbal cues. Body language is part of that equation. How you say things matters just as much as their content.

Contrasting priorities

Having different personal goals is okay—normal even. What isn’t, though, is having conflicting priorities.

Let’s say your partner is going in the opposite direction relationship-wise. When you try asking them, they refuse to budge. And with that, you can’t help but wonder if staying is pointless.

Lack of intimacy

When somebody feels deprived of touches and other forms of physical intimacy, they’re bound to get irritated. And when that irritation lingers, relationships become strained.

Intimacy isn’t only about its physical form. The emotional kind is just as important. If you can’t be or are uncomfortable with vulnerability, you will have problems down the line.

How do you fix a broken relationship without addressing issues like intimacy problems? You can’t, so speak up.

Why Do People Ruin Themselves Trying to Fix Relationships?

Like their issues, the self-inflicted damage people bring while fixing their relationships doesn’t come out of thin air. These reasons may give you some clearer insight:

Poor sense of self-worth

People who often undermine their self-worth sometimes feel the need to overcompensate. They try to fix their relationships by disregarding themselves. Ironically, they believe being in it is the only way to see their worth.

Fear of being alone

Some relationships are born out of the fear of loneliness. Some desperately try to pick up the pieces and fix what they have because they don’t want to be alone. Aside from not having any company, they don’t want to lose a reason to be happy.

Lack of boundaries

Some people find standing their ground and saying “no” more difficult than others. They keep trying to fix their damaged relationships despite the constant disrespect they get from their partners. But there’ll be no repairs if they can’t learn to put their foot down.

How to Repair a Broken Relationship Without Inflicting Self-Damage

As said in the introduction, you can fix your relationship while protecting yourself. They’re not mutually exclusive.

Here’s how to save your relationship without sabotaging yourself:

#1: Don’t punish yourself.

You may have a part to play in the damage. But even if that’s the case, don’t crucify yourself for that. You’ve made mistakes, but they don’t warrant punishment.

Cut yourself some slack, and don’t carry the guilt alone. You’ll dig yourself a deep hole you can’t get out of if you don’t do that.

#2: Look out for yourself.

Just because you’re going through a rough time doesn’t mean you should neglect your well-being. You’re allowed to cater to your wants and needs.

Take some time off and practice or indulge in some self-care. Enjoy a long bubble bath with your favorite shower essentials. Take up that new hobby you’ve always wanted to tick off your bucket list. You can always reignite an old interest you’ve left on the back burner.

Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish, even in times of trouble. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

#3: Know what you want.

Do you still want to maintain your relationship? Or do you want to fix things to make a clean breakup more feasible?

Since you’re making an effort to repair things, we assume your answer is the former. Take a moment to think about what you truly want out of your relationship. It won’t do if your words and actions are inconsistent.

#4: Be kind to your partner.

Tough times aren’t an excuse to act out on your partner. You two may not be on good terms right now, but that doesn’t mean you should leave your respect out the door.

Should you act like nothing’s happened? No. But at the same time, you shouldn’t ice them out. Treat them with the same respect you’ve always had. Don’t let your anger and hurt cloud that.

#5: Practice accountability.

This is completely different from the blame game. Accountability means taking responsibility for your actions and choices. Meanwhile, blaming somebody is dodging them.

You and your partner shouldn’t keep score and point fingers. There’s no winning if you keep trying to one-up each other. Admitting mistakes isn’t the easiest, but you should start somewhere if you want change.

…

Learning how to fix a broken relationship without hurting yourself isn’t and shouldn’t be rocket science. Not knowing how to balance these two shouldn’t be the cause of your ruin.