Extortion vs Coercion: How They Differ in Romance Scams
Extortion vs coercion: understanding the difference helps you identify the tactics used and seek appropriate help.
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So you've found love online. You clicked with someone, chatted for quite a while, and then a connection sparked. It felt so deep and genuine.
But then, what seemed like a sweet dream turned into a nightmare where your finances and emotional well-being are being systematically dismantled.
This is the devastating reality faced by thousands of individuals caught in the web of romance scams.
According to the FBI's recent Internet Crime Report, relationship frauds continue to extract a staggering toll.
The IC3 Complaint Statistics presents a consistent increase in the amount of losses from an average of over 800,000 complaints per year. In 2024, the reported amount of loss rose to more than $16 billion from 2023's roughly $12 billion.
Out of the reported number of complaints, 80,000 were related to extortion, which ranked 2nd among the list of crime types.
What Is Extortion?
In general, extortion is an act where someone unlawfully obtains money, property, or something else of value. This act uses threats and intimidation against another person to fulfill the extortionist’s demands.
To clarify, extortion is not the same as a legitimate negotiation or request. It specifically involves wrongful threats or force to compel action. One common example is demanding money in exchange for not disclosing sensitive information.
Forms of extortion
Being a victim of scam dating is devastating.
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Extortion can be executed in quite a lot of ways. For this article, we will tackle the three most common tactics used.
Sextortion
Blackmail
Coercion
This is a common tactic where the fraudster forms a romantic relationship with the victim. While in the "relationship," they persuade the victim to send intimate photos or videos of themselves, perhaps under the guise of mutual trust or future plans to meet.
Once the scammer has these explicit materials, they threaten to publish these photos/videos, send them to the victim's family, friends, or employer, or distribute them widely unless a ransom is paid.
Blackmail in romance scams is a cruel form of extortion, where the scammer weaponizes sensitive information against the victim to demand money. After building fake emotional trust, they often coerce victims into sharing intimate photos or private secrets.
The scammer then threatens to expose this content unless payments are made. This is just one of the plethora of ways blackmail is carried out.
Is blackmail illegal? Absolutely.
In the United States, blackmail is a serious felony offense under both federal and state laws. Federally, blackmail can fall under statutes like 18 U.S. Code § 873 (Blackmail) or 18 U.S. Code § 875 (Interstate Communications for threats of economic or physical harm).
Therefore, any individual who commits such acts can go to jail for blackmail to face substantial federal or state prison sentences, significant fines, and a permanent criminal record.
The usual playbook of romance scammers involves exerting pressure on the victim to comply with financial or other demands. This act is called coercion. It may use tactics that include manipulating emotions, exploiting trust, or instilling fear.
Unlike outright physical threats, coercion is often psychological. Essentially, the fraudster uses emotional manipulation that compels the victim to send money or act as demanded to prevent severe consequences.
While both blackmail (a form of extortion) and coercion are powerful tools in a romance scammer's arsenal, they operate with distinct methodologies and leverage different types of psychological pressure.
Legal sanctions for extortion
Many countries take extortion very seriously.
The U.S. courts impose extortion penalties as these acts are treated as serious legal offenses.
According to the California Penal Code Section 518, extortion is classified as a felony offense. It is punishable by up to three years in prison. In the event that the victim never complied or consented to the demands made by the extortionist, the defendant can be charged with attempted extortion.
Since penal provisions against extortion may differ by state, country, or constitution, penalties may also include fines and probation alongside imprisonment. The severity of the punishment depends on factors such as the nature of the threat, the amount involved, and the impact on the victim.
Extortion vs Coercion
As you can see, coercion is categorized under the act of extortion. At a glance, you might think they’re just the same. However, there are actually subtle differences between the two.
While both extortion and coercion are manipulative tactics employed by romance scammers to drain victims financially and emotionally, they operate on distinct principles.
The primary distinction lies in what is threatened and when the threat is expected to materialize.
Extortion (the threat of future exposure)
Coercion (the pressure of immediate or ongoing crisis)
Extortion leverages the fear of future harm.
This can include public exposure or reputational damage. It works when the scammer holds sensitive information or creates a fabricated scandal over the victim’s head.
This situation creates an ongoing state of anxiety, where the victim might make multiple payments to prevent the threatened revelation. Although unwilling, the victim “consents” by choosing the perceived lesser of two evils.
By contrast, coercion thrives on immediate and overwhelming pressure.
This works for the scammers by crafting urgent, often life-or-death scenarios that demand instant action. The scammer makes fabricated arrests, medical emergencies, or threats of self-harm to hasten compliance.
The tactic used in coercion overrides rational thought by instilling in their victims the feeling that they have no choice but to respond instantly.
Despite their different methods, their endgame is usually monetary gain.
Understanding these subtle differences, as well as their similarities, is important to help victims identify the specific tactics being used against them and to seek appropriate help.
In either case, if you are a victim, you may file a general complaint with the appropriate authorities.
Avoid Scams with the Right Platforms
While romance scams represent a dark side of online interaction, they shouldn’t deter you from seeking a genuine connection online. Honest people seeking real connections do exist online.
Thousands of people successfully find love through the internet. The key lies in being informed and cautious.
Understanding the insidious tactics like extortion and coercion is your first line of defense against falling victim to a scam dating scenario.
References
Federal Bureau of Investigation. n.d. “Internet Crime Report 2024.” Accessed July 16, 2025. https://www.ic3.gov/AnnualReport/Reports/2024_IC3Report.pdf.
Kraut Law Group Criminal & DUI Lawyers, Inc. n.d. “California Penal Code Section 518 PC: Extortion.” Kraut Law Group. Accessed July 16, 2025. https://www.losangelescriminallawyer.pro/california-penal-code-section-518-pc-extortion.html.
Cornell Law School. n.d. “18 U.S. Code § 875 - Interstate communications.” Legal Information Institute. Accessed July 16, 2025. https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/18/875.
Cornell Law School. n.d. “18 U.S. Code § 873 - Blackmail.” Legal Information Institute. Accessed July 16, 2025. https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/18/873