Given that I'm looking for a serious relationship online, particularly with women from other countries, how might online blackmail start in such interactions?

Online blackmail can begin innocently through online dating platforms where individuals seek connections [1, 2]. Initially, interactions may be friendly, involving pleasantries and compliments [3]. However, these relationships can escalate quickly, leading to deeper entanglements where red flags might be overlooked [3]. The blackmailer may then start asking for seemingly wholesome photos or videos, which can later become more explicit [4]. Once enough material is gathered, the person may do a 'heel turn' and threaten to leak your photos and videos unless you send them money or other things [4].

If I meet someone online and things progress quickly, and they start asking for personal photos or videos, what are the warning signs of potential online blackmail I should be aware of?

When online interactions progress very quickly and seem 'too good to be true', it could be a warning sign [3]. If a new online acquaintance, even someone you believe you have a connection with, starts asking for intimate or explicit photos and videos, especially after a short period, this should be considered a **red flag** [4-6]. Be cautious of individuals who pressure you to share such content, promising reciprocation but with ulterior motives [4].

If, despite being cautious, I find myself being blackmailed online after sharing personal media, what are the first steps I should take according to this guide?

If you are being blackmailed online, the first crucial step is to **gather evidence** [7]. This includes saving all your interactions, from friendly chats to threats, noting their social media handles and personal details, and taking screenshots or screen recordings [8]. It is also advised to **report your case** to trustworthy parties and authorities as soon as possible [9]. Tell your family and get in touch with relevant agencies for help. Furthermore, you should **cut off all contact** with the blackmailer after gathering evidence by blocking them on all platforms [9, 10].

The guide mentions reporting blackmail; what kind of evidence should I gather from my online interactions to support my case if I need to report it?

To build a solid case against your blackmailer, you should save all your interactions [8]. This includes: **friendly chats, threatening messages, social media handles, and any personal details** they might have shared [8]. It is important to take **screenshots or screen recordings** of these interactions to have records, even if the blackmailer deletes them [8]. This evidence will be crucial when you report the blackmail to family, authorities, or relevant agencies [9].

If I am being blackmailed, should I try to negotiate or pay the blackmailer to stop them from leaking my information, based on what this guide advises?

The guide strongly advises against complying with the blackmailer's demands [11]. **Giving in will not provide an easy way out**; instead, it will likely worsen the situation and encourage the blackmailer to demand more [11]. The recommended course of action is to **not send them anything**, regardless of their threats [11]. If you have already made a payment, you should contact your bank or the money-transferring platform immediately to seek assistance in stopping the transaction [11].

Here’s What to Do If Someone Is Blackmailing You

Man conducting an online blackmailing scam

Is someone threatening to leak your information? Learn what to do if someone is blackmailing you with this guide.

Not everything is what it seems. Some things come to us as wholesome opportunities. It’s only later on that we realize what a nightmare they are.

Take online dating as an example. With its quick and convenient nature, who wouldn’t want to participate in it? But the good comes with the bad and the ugly. Sometimes, the people you think are the best matches are conniving. The next thing you know, you’re a victim of online blackmail.

Ideally, you shouldn’t find yourself in such a situation. But as the saying goes, it’s better to be safe than sorry.

When faced with this problem, you should know how to act to resolve it. And with that, here’s a guide on what to do if someone is blackmailing you on dating platforms.

A Stranger Calls | The Beginning of a Disaster

Dating online can be fun, but it isn’t without risks. Do you remember your parents’ warnings about stranger danger? It doesn’t just apply in person; it also rings true on the internet, where you’ll encounter many.

However, just as the concept of socialization has changed, so has the definition of strangers. The internet makes the world seem small, making meeting unfamiliar names and faces no longer as intimidating as it was.

The non-governmental organization Thorn has research to back up that notion. In a 2024 piece, they stated that the youth don’t consider the new people they meet online to be strangers.

The tides have definitely changed, haven’t they?

There’s nothing wrong with interacting with people you don’t know online. However, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be careful.

The altered definition and bad-faith actors taking on fake personas set the stage for disaster. They’re just waiting for the opportunity to pounce, so don’t give them that satisfaction.

“I’m Being Blackmailed by Someone Online.”

Say you met someone online and hit it off almost immediately. Your exchanges start friendly, with pleasantries and mutual compliments here and there.

Days or weeks later, you see yourself in a deeper entanglement. The speed makes you overlook the red flags. Things seem too good to be true.

The relationship continues, and they start asking you for wholesome photos or videos. Then it escalates. Their requests have become more explicit.

They promise reciprocation for your content. But at this point, they’ve gathered enough material. And so, the online blackmailing begins.

Everything happened right under your nose. Just when you thought your relationship had hit a deeper level, your match does a heel turn. They threaten to leak your photos and videos unless you send them money or other things in exchange.

How to Deal with Online Blackmailing

We know how traumatizing being blackmailed can be. And because it’s horrible, we don’t want any dater to feel helpless.

Here’s what to do if someone is blackmailing you:

Man taking preventive measures against online blackmailing

It’s better to be safe than sorry when dealing with online blackmailing scams.

#1: Gather evidence.

If you want to have a fighting chance against your blackmailer, you should build a solid argument. Make your case by having concrete evidence.

Save all your interactions, from friendly chats to threats. Remember their social media handles and personal details. Take screenshots or screen recordings so you have records, even if they delete them.

We know going through all your interactions can be a lot to handle. But you shouldn’t delete them as you build your case. They’re your shot at winning this long and hard battle.

#2: Report your case.

Ask for help—that’s how to stop someone from blackmailing you. Don’t keep your case under wraps. Report it to trustworthy parties and authorities as soon as possible.

Tell your family about your situation. You’ll need all the comfort you can get in this terrible time. Get in touch with relevant agencies to help you in your case. This may be your experience, but you shouldn’t have to fight this battle alone.

Keeping silent about your blackmail won’t help you. Your perpetrator will only take advantage of your fear and manipulate you further. Don’t give them that victory.

#3: Cut off all contact.

How to get rid of a blackmailer, you ask? Get them off your trail by putting all communication to a permanent halt. It’s best to do this after gathering the necessary proof.

Block them on social media and other channels to stop them from gaining further access to your information. Check your accounts’ security settings and limit accessibility to trusted people. Change all your passwords, even if they haven’t hacked your profiles yet. You can never be too careful in cases like this.

If you want extra security, deactivate your accounts temporarily. This stops perpetrators from contacting you while still keeping access to evidence.

#4: Block the content from leaking.

Even if the blackmailer has your pictures and videos, you can still stop them from publicizing them.

Platforms dedicated to taking down compromising content now exist. Meta’s Stop Sextortion hub and TakeItDown.org are examples of such.

A common requirement is copies of the files you sent your blackmailer. You don’t need to share them on those platforms. They’ll create a digital fingerprint for reference. Simply follow their instructions to ensure you get ahead of your perpetrator.

#5: Don’t comply with their demands.

Giving in isn’t an easy way out. It’ll only worsen the situation and embolden your blackmailer to demand more. No matter what they do, don’t send them anything.

But if you’ve already complied, there is a way to stop the transaction.

If you paid from a bank account, call your bank for assistance. But if you did it through another money-transferring platform, you can check their regulations to cancel the transfers.

….

You now know what to do if someone is blackmailing you. But it wouldn't hurt to keep your guard up at all times.

This isn't to say you should become closed off. Open up whenever necessary, but don't overlook the red flags either. While there are certainly good matches out there, there are also ill-intentioned ones. Prioritize your safety to have a better online dating experience and gain genuine connections.

Reference

Thorn. 2024. “Sextortion: What to Do If Someone Is Blackmailing You with Nudes.” Thorn. https://www.thorn.org/blog/identify-sextortion/.